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Parent Emeritus
Need advice from this board haven't posted in months
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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 609973" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>In my opinion if he is doing good and improving then being supportive is a good thing. I didn't say doing anything for him!!! I said supportive. Giving him the numbers for shelters or giving him advise when he calls is fine. Doing it for him by providing him money and rides is another. Maybe you could tell him you wont provide anymore money but that you are willing to drive him to job interviews or therapy as long as he gives you X amount of time notice. DO NOT schedule the appointments or the interviews. He needs to do that. This way you are supporting his positive goals but not his negatives. </p><p></p><p>I think the hard part is to stop doing things for them. I know it is for me. I want to reach out and make it all better and easier. Unfortunately the easier we make it the more they take advantage of it. </p><p></p><p>You have to do what you feel is right in your heart. If this difficult child is spiraling down then step back but if he is working his way up (even if he isn't doing it well) then you can help where you feel you can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 609973, member: 15473"] In my opinion if he is doing good and improving then being supportive is a good thing. I didn't say doing anything for him!!! I said supportive. Giving him the numbers for shelters or giving him advise when he calls is fine. Doing it for him by providing him money and rides is another. Maybe you could tell him you wont provide anymore money but that you are willing to drive him to job interviews or therapy as long as he gives you X amount of time notice. DO NOT schedule the appointments or the interviews. He needs to do that. This way you are supporting his positive goals but not his negatives. I think the hard part is to stop doing things for them. I know it is for me. I want to reach out and make it all better and easier. Unfortunately the easier we make it the more they take advantage of it. You have to do what you feel is right in your heart. If this difficult child is spiraling down then step back but if he is working his way up (even if he isn't doing it well) then you can help where you feel you can. [/QUOTE]
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