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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 638440" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>Ok so I didn't get a chance to read everything but as the mother of a 14 year old plus sized girl with decent behavior and grades I feel pretty in touch with this issue. She's a great kid but her weight makes her a target and so does the fact that she likes to be edgy. She never wants to wear the normal clothes kids wear and she never wants normal hair colors. She has had some friends I questioned and some friends I loved. Generally though she attaches most to kids with issues. </p><p></p><p>Here's the deal. I keep a close eye on her friends and what she and they are doing. I talk to her about them when I have concerns and let her know how I feel. As for the clothes and hair I do my best to make sure that her style choices are appropriately sized and provide the coverage needed. There are of course pieces we don't agree upon but those are never something she is allowed to wear outside the house. I bite my tongue when we shop because most of what she picks makes me cringe but as long as it isn't obscene or inappropriate I try to keep my mouth shut. </p><p></p><p>The hair drives me nuts. She is a blonde and has that hair color women pay big bucks for. It has now been red, blue, pink, tricolored, and green by accident. I absolutely hate it. I also refuse to let her get it done somewhere cheap and ruin it. Because of that it isn't cheap. So I have put my foot down recently and told her that she can do whatever she wants to the ends but the roots need to stay blonde. I refuse to take my 14 year old in every 6 weeks for hair touch ups. </p><p></p><p>So hear is my advice for your friend. Stay close to the girl. Let her know that you know the clothes are just clothes and you don't care if she decides to wear a unicorn horn on the forehead she will still always be loved. Support her and talk to her honestly about her friends and her actions. </p><p></p><p>Making a big deal about clothing can blow something silly out of proportion. Sometimes something as simple as ignoring the dramatic change or even playing along/into it can make it less exciting for the kid. Now I am not saying to ignore the signs of other things just to keep in mind that most goths are just going through a phase. As long as she isn't making bad decisions along with it then who cares.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 638440, member: 15473"] Ok so I didn't get a chance to read everything but as the mother of a 14 year old plus sized girl with decent behavior and grades I feel pretty in touch with this issue. She's a great kid but her weight makes her a target and so does the fact that she likes to be edgy. She never wants to wear the normal clothes kids wear and she never wants normal hair colors. She has had some friends I questioned and some friends I loved. Generally though she attaches most to kids with issues. Here's the deal. I keep a close eye on her friends and what she and they are doing. I talk to her about them when I have concerns and let her know how I feel. As for the clothes and hair I do my best to make sure that her style choices are appropriately sized and provide the coverage needed. There are of course pieces we don't agree upon but those are never something she is allowed to wear outside the house. I bite my tongue when we shop because most of what she picks makes me cringe but as long as it isn't obscene or inappropriate I try to keep my mouth shut. The hair drives me nuts. She is a blonde and has that hair color women pay big bucks for. It has now been red, blue, pink, tricolored, and green by accident. I absolutely hate it. I also refuse to let her get it done somewhere cheap and ruin it. Because of that it isn't cheap. So I have put my foot down recently and told her that she can do whatever she wants to the ends but the roots need to stay blonde. I refuse to take my 14 year old in every 6 weeks for hair touch ups. So hear is my advice for your friend. Stay close to the girl. Let her know that you know the clothes are just clothes and you don't care if she decides to wear a unicorn horn on the forehead she will still always be loved. Support her and talk to her honestly about her friends and her actions. Making a big deal about clothing can blow something silly out of proportion. Sometimes something as simple as ignoring the dramatic change or even playing along/into it can make it less exciting for the kid. Now I am not saying to ignore the signs of other things just to keep in mind that most goths are just going through a phase. As long as she isn't making bad decisions along with it then who cares. [/QUOTE]
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