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Need Advice - WHAT Do I Do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675399" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Susie, I do not know what you should do but wanted to tell you this: behavioral change, including depression, anxiety and irritability can follow a heart attack.</p><p></p><p>Also, your mother may be afraid to respond to your Dad for so many reasons. She may not want to disturb him or to cause him more stress. She may know on some level that he is more vulnerable. She may want to be there for him, to not add to his vulnerability. She may be afraid he will have another heart attack, if she puts pressure on him. All of this is not good for her, for him or their relationship.</p><p></p><p>If it were me I would urge my mother to get professional help. A therapist or a support group for family members who have cardiac problems, or something similar. Ideally, your Dad would go to a group, too. Perhaps if your mom went, he would go.</p><p></p><p>A therapist or a support group would give your mother ideas on how to handle it and give her support to do so.</p><p></p><p>If it were me, every time she brings the topic up I would advise her to get professional help. I do not think it is your role to take responsibility for guiding her in this issue.</p><p></p><p>My SO is controlling. He tells me how to do things and what I am doing wrong. He used to do it bad when I was driving. He is better, but still it is no fun. But I am not ill, and either he is. I know how stressful it is.</p><p></p><p>Your mom should not have to live like this. I think she needs professional help to deal with it.</p><p></p><p>I would also think that your Dad needs to go to the doctor. Perhaps this is something with which he can be helped, even if he does not want to go to a psychiatrist. There are antidepressants that help with low level anxiety and also with self-control, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) type thinking and behaviors. It sounds like he is having a hard time inhibiting his behavior. All of this could be helped by therapy and possibly medication, I think.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675399, member: 18958"] Susie, I do not know what you should do but wanted to tell you this: behavioral change, including depression, anxiety and irritability can follow a heart attack. Also, your mother may be afraid to respond to your Dad for so many reasons. She may not want to disturb him or to cause him more stress. She may know on some level that he is more vulnerable. She may want to be there for him, to not add to his vulnerability. She may be afraid he will have another heart attack, if she puts pressure on him. All of this is not good for her, for him or their relationship. If it were me I would urge my mother to get professional help. A therapist or a support group for family members who have cardiac problems, or something similar. Ideally, your Dad would go to a group, too. Perhaps if your mom went, he would go. A therapist or a support group would give your mother ideas on how to handle it and give her support to do so. If it were me, every time she brings the topic up I would advise her to get professional help. I do not think it is your role to take responsibility for guiding her in this issue. My SO is controlling. He tells me how to do things and what I am doing wrong. He used to do it bad when I was driving. He is better, but still it is no fun. But I am not ill, and either he is. I know how stressful it is. Your mom should not have to live like this. I think she needs professional help to deal with it. I would also think that your Dad needs to go to the doctor. Perhaps this is something with which he can be helped, even if he does not want to go to a psychiatrist. There are antidepressants that help with low level anxiety and also with self-control, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) type thinking and behaviors. It sounds like he is having a hard time inhibiting his behavior. All of this could be helped by therapy and possibly medication, I think. COPA [/QUOTE]
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