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Need Advice - WHAT Do I Do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 675422" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I agree with Copa. A support group for family members which both parents attend could open conversations they may not be able to have with one another. If Father refuses, Mother would still benefit from sharing her frustrations and concerns with those in similar places in their own lives. </p><p></p><p>Is your father afraid Susie do you think? Could he be pulling the door to the sewing room open like that out of fear that she may not be there? Forgetting common decency because he is afraid of being alone, and doesn't know how to communicate that?</p><p></p><p>Or maybe, is unaware of it, himself?</p><p></p><p>That business of pushing things off the counter while cookies are being made. It's almost as though the father is screaming "I am afraid; afraid you are not seeing me. Afraid I don't matter in the same way, now." Maybe, the father wonders whether he really did make it through the surgery, or is afraid something essential is going to come apart unexpectedly. Or maybe, he sees himself now as mortal in a way he did not, before. Or it could be the trauma of the surgery itself. With having been treated in such an impersonal way by those whose concern is his physical health and not his essential, human self.</p><p></p><p>How awful for him, and for all of you.</p><p></p><p>Thoughts and prayers for your father going up, Susie.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 675422, member: 17461"] I agree with Copa. A support group for family members which both parents attend could open conversations they may not be able to have with one another. If Father refuses, Mother would still benefit from sharing her frustrations and concerns with those in similar places in their own lives. Is your father afraid Susie do you think? Could he be pulling the door to the sewing room open like that out of fear that she may not be there? Forgetting common decency because he is afraid of being alone, and doesn't know how to communicate that? Or maybe, is unaware of it, himself? That business of pushing things off the counter while cookies are being made. It's almost as though the father is screaming "I am afraid; afraid you are not seeing me. Afraid I don't matter in the same way, now." Maybe, the father wonders whether he really did make it through the surgery, or is afraid something essential is going to come apart unexpectedly. Or maybe, he sees himself now as mortal in a way he did not, before. Or it could be the trauma of the surgery itself. With having been treated in such an impersonal way by those whose concern is his physical health and not his essential, human self. How awful for him, and for all of you. Thoughts and prayers for your father going up, Susie. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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