Daughter is 14 and spends lots of time with my mother in law. mother in law is old school and likes control. Daughter is bipolar and controlled by the uncontrollable nature of bipolar. Daughter just started therapy and has been in it a week. She also has been on medications for bipolar for a week. mother in law is having trouble understanding that daughter can't be parented in the exact same way mother in law parented her kids. mother in law is also having trouble understanding that daughter has little to no control over mood swings and mother in law has little patience for them. Daughter wants everyone to be patient and understanding of her and that she does not have control over this all, but when we who are also learning, struggle, she has no patience for us. I'm learning quickly how daughter needs me to parent her, but I have always been much more flexible and go with the flow. I'm helping daughter understand she has to work with us and try to be patient with us, because we are learning like she is; she is helping or trying to help us learn how to parent her. This is all a growing process for everyone. mother in law is having trouble being more flowing in how she does things and less uptight and controlling. I often find myself caught in the middle of daughter and mother in law acting as the go between to help them understand each other. Daughter also being 14 and not an adult and parent has difficulty understanding where we are coming from on some, well most, things. We all know you just don't understand what it is to be a parent until you are one, and no teenager gets what it is like to be a parent especially a parent of teenagers. I want mother in law to come to family therapy night since she spends so much time with daughter. I think it'd be a good step towards helping us all understand each other. Daughter said no because she believes mother in law will try to control the session and wants an easy fix to make daughter behave the way mother in law wants. mother in law is very worried about how things make her appear to everyone. She has actually not told anyone she knows about daughter being bipolar or the issues we have because she is embarrassed by it. That is all another reason I want mother in law at family therapy with us. This is not an embarrassment. It's my child and we need support from everyone, including our friends in the community that interact with daughter. mother in law seems to want that picture perfect family. Others can have issues but we can't. I am at a loss on how to handle this. Right now if daughter gets irritated or anything with anyone I'm the one she comes to even if I am not with her. I do my best to keep her calm and talk her thru how to handle situations. I do not assume everything she tells me is right, because it's skewed from her perspective like their story is skewed from their perspective. I always assume she and whoever she is with are not understanding each other and the truth is somewhere in the middle and I talk her thru that as best I can. It is sometimes frustrating for me, like today. Today is my chance for a mental and emotional break to take care of myself and daughter starts texting me about mother in law not being patient with her. Obviously I'm not with them, but I'm still in the middle trying to help them both chill out and enjoy their day trip.