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Substance Abuse
Need advise about vacation
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 690141" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My younger kids didn't see her using, but they were exposed to her behavior. Like once she put her hand through a window and the young ones were hysterical. All three were crying.</p><p></p><p>At any rate, I am protective of the innocent. My daughter knew she messed up. WSM knows why the stepfather is leery. If he really quits, he will be welcomed into the fold. It does take time to know if the person quit.</p><p></p><p>We wouldn't take a heroin addict uncle, cousin or friend on a vacation with us. We'd be afraid. The same goes for a son when younger kids are at risk. People on drugs are not in their right minds and it takes a while for the drug thinking/acting to wear off.</p><p></p><p>I also don't think we can force love between stepfather and adult kids. It took a long time for my husband and mine and ex's kids to bond.</p><p></p><p>As they told me, "I have a father."</p><p></p><p>They were right. Things settled down as Bart grew ambitious and put his life together and Princess courageously quit using. While Bart is stand offish to everyone except me and ex, Princess and husband and me and Jumper and Sonic are all very bonded. The past is a stepping stone to the future. What needs to happen now may change for all later on.</p><p></p><p>With that, I rest my case. Since I saw the effects of a drug using daughter and much younger siblings and her step father, I have a pretty good idea of how chaotic it is. But I know that with changes and time things can be great<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 690141, member: 1550"] My younger kids didn't see her using, but they were exposed to her behavior. Like once she put her hand through a window and the young ones were hysterical. All three were crying. At any rate, I am protective of the innocent. My daughter knew she messed up. WSM knows why the stepfather is leery. If he really quits, he will be welcomed into the fold. It does take time to know if the person quit. We wouldn't take a heroin addict uncle, cousin or friend on a vacation with us. We'd be afraid. The same goes for a son when younger kids are at risk. People on drugs are not in their right minds and it takes a while for the drug thinking/acting to wear off. I also don't think we can force love between stepfather and adult kids. It took a long time for my husband and mine and ex's kids to bond. As they told me, "I have a father." They were right. Things settled down as Bart grew ambitious and put his life together and Princess courageously quit using. While Bart is stand offish to everyone except me and ex, Princess and husband and me and Jumper and Sonic are all very bonded. The past is a stepping stone to the future. What needs to happen now may change for all later on. With that, I rest my case. Since I saw the effects of a drug using daughter and much younger siblings and her step father, I have a pretty good idea of how chaotic it is. But I know that with changes and time things can be great;) [/QUOTE]
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