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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 190355" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>It is a terrible feeling to be so low and not be able to help oneself. I'm glad she sought help but so many are so depressed they can not function enough to help themselves. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry to say that I would support her husband and her by asking them their plan as opposed to making a plan for them. </p><p></p><p>It's terrible taking care of 2 babies when depressed but the truth most mom's are somewhat depressed after delivery just from hormones and lack of sleep. Her problem is magnified of course but helping her find her own solutions and making suggestions will go a long way to making her feel good about herself instead of feeling incapable. Again. </p><p></p><p>She has tools and supports. More than most new moms. I would keep an eye out for the safety of the kids but continue on with your life. Committing to a night or afternoon of babysitting once a week is a gift most of us didn't have.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes the struggle is necessary for her to grow into change. </p><p>I would go on with school. Your life has as much value as hers and your goals are as important as your adult childrens goals.</p><p></p><p>Letting her be an adult and respecting her struggle is an important part of adulthood for her. Doesn't mean you can't send cooked meals once in a while or offer a mother's helper but let it be her decision. </p><p></p><p>It's hard to know what's needed because we all carry a fear of a backwards slide but we have to live in the now and not the past.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 190355, member: 3"] It is a terrible feeling to be so low and not be able to help oneself. I'm glad she sought help but so many are so depressed they can not function enough to help themselves. I'm sorry to say that I would support her husband and her by asking them their plan as opposed to making a plan for them. It's terrible taking care of 2 babies when depressed but the truth most mom's are somewhat depressed after delivery just from hormones and lack of sleep. Her problem is magnified of course but helping her find her own solutions and making suggestions will go a long way to making her feel good about herself instead of feeling incapable. Again. She has tools and supports. More than most new moms. I would keep an eye out for the safety of the kids but continue on with your life. Committing to a night or afternoon of babysitting once a week is a gift most of us didn't have. Sometimes the struggle is necessary for her to grow into change. I would go on with school. Your life has as much value as hers and your goals are as important as your adult childrens goals. Letting her be an adult and respecting her struggle is an important part of adulthood for her. Doesn't mean you can't send cooked meals once in a while or offer a mother's helper but let it be her decision. It's hard to know what's needed because we all carry a fear of a backwards slide but we have to live in the now and not the past. [/QUOTE]
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