Need board vibes sent to Diva.....

[Andy]

I can't believe she is actually going to do this! I need all of you to send very strong "Stay home Diva!" vibes her way!

Diva's friend "He is not my boyfriend, he has a girlfriend, but he spends more time with me then her" wants to come home. He is stuck in Florida with his girlfriend. Diva discouraged him from going last Fall but the girl has some type of control over him -everyone knew he did not want to go - he even procrastinated as long as possible. I think the girl is controlling him with money - he doesn't work and she provides everything he needs as long as he stays with her type of deal. Anyway, they have broken up, got back together, broken up, got back together, ect the entire time he has been down there. The girl refused to help him come home for his dad's funeral (she knew he wouldn't return to her if he did). They live with her mom. After a huge fall out with her family, he has decided to come back home to MN (25 hour drive per map quest).

The problem is that he does not want to drive back alone and does not want to leave his vehicle down there. I strongly vote that he sell the car for a plane ticket and fly home, get a job and purchase another car. Doesn't want to leave his little beat up car down there. So, the plan is that Diva is going to fly down there and ride back with him so that he has a traveling companion.

My 2nd vote would be that he drive back with a friend that is down there and that friend fly back (even if Diva pays for the plane ticket - at least she will be safe and sound here during this event!).

Diva asked me last night if I would give her a ride to the Cities this weekend or next (3 hour drive). When I asked why, she said she was going to be flying to FL. I told her, "No, you are not to do this. I will have no part of this." I then put a call into her aunt to let her know what was happening (Diva will be asking her for help) and that I am against it.

So, strong "DIVA STAY HOME" vibes sent her way for about a week. She should catch the vibes by then?

Thank you!

 

[Hound dog]

Saying a prayer and sending the strongest vibes possible.

((hugs))

 

[DammitJanet]

Oh this sounds like a typical teen disaster. Something I would have definitely done...lol.

Ok...vibes going up that she wont do this!

 

[Jena]

oh she's stuck on this boy, the thiing is no matter what you say she'll do what she wants anyway unfortunately. i'd say push the your under my roof card in her face. she does have to respect your rules to some extent in order to live there.

is this the same guy as before that she was stuck on??

((Hugs)) teenagers are a trip and a half......

 

[everywoman]

Vibes coming Diva's way. Hopefully plans with change between now and then.

 

[trinityroyal]

Sending as many "Diva Stay Home" vibes as I can muster.

 

[Suz]

Ah, there's nothing like teenage hormones...

Sending good vibes.

Suz

 

[ML]

DON'T GO DIVA!!!! Chanting and focusing that she stay home and allow this boy to make his own decisions and plans and that she can avoid enabling him. Hugs, ML

 

[KTMom91]

Sending stay home vibes...

 

[Andy]

Thank you guys! She seems to be waffling a little so it is working.

Jen, I don't push the under our roof card because she will then go for sure even if she changed her mind.

Does the typical teen thing go away at 20 yrs old? If so, I have only one more year and a few weeks to go!

She knows how I feel and all I can do is throw little, "Don't do this" remarks at her everytime I get a chance.

She says it is perfectly safe because N and his girlfriend drove down to FL alone and Diva is much smarter than the girlfriend (and N for that matter).

I do hear, "If I don't go" from her so am still hanging on to hope some.

Keep those vibes coming.

 

[DammitJanet]

Im sorry to tell you that the typical teen thing leaves at about 22 or 23 and is fully gone at about 25. That is when the frontal lobe is fully developed. They do start getting a bit better though as the 20s kick in.

 

[Mattsmom277]

Sending don't go vibes too!!! It is good that there is some waffling going on. It does seem to make more sense for this boy to drive home alone, or sell his car and fly home. If his car is beat up and old, what if it can't make the trip and him AND Diva are stuck in some god knows where place with a broken down hunk of junk car ?? Many complications could occur. I also think that if this boy is mature enough to relocate to another side of the country to shack up with his girlfriend, he should be mature enough to leave under his own steam. I have no clue how I"d handle this, but I know I'd be upset if my child was spending all this money to save someone who was with another woman and now wanted my childs help to leave this woman. I see Diva being hurt don't the line. As a mom, it would stick in my craw. I do hope that reason and logic kick in.

 

[Andy]

OOOOHHHHH - This is looking good for me! Very very good! I should have known her inability to keep a balanced checkbook would be to my advantage some day! A HUGE overdraft fee (she has got to get out of this bank $58 for an overdraft by less than $3.00). Anyway - no $$$ for Florida?

She swears she balanced her books three times last night going over and over the numbers. I told her to take her book into the bank and ask for help in finding out what is going on. I wouldn't put it past a "friend" to have her debit number and be using it. However, she is always only off a few dollars! Ugh - I mean Ugh for her - I am detached (yeah right, sure sounds like it doesn't it?)

Plus, something else that I don't dare put in writing until everything is said and done. Oh Please - powers that be - don't let my little girl have the opportunity to get on that plane!

This could be the end but unfortunately we know that dust settles and forgiveness happens and they put themselves into it again! One day at a time - one situation at a time - I just hold my breath and pray.

 

[Mattsmom277]

She's overdrawn? Meaning no airfare?? Meaning ex needs to find his own way home?? YIPPEE!!
As for not balancing her account properly, this can be a good learning lesson for life for her. I do hope nobody took her money with debit or anything. That would hoover. But whatever the reason, this is a good way for her to realize the importance of accounting for her spending.
Add that to not being able to fly to rescue a grown man from his broken relationship??
Sounds like a double win to me