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Need feedback from parents who went through nasty divorces
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 551529" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I misread your original post, MWM. At least your grandson's mother is not being abusive to your son in front of the child... that is something. But children are so receptive and sensitive, of course, and your grandson is of course picking up all the hostility nonetheless.</p><p>Children become scapegoats in these situations. Your grandson seems very difficult and is acting up, but really he is just embodying the emotional chaos of the situation, giving it expression. The "problem" is the whole set up, the whole family, not the child in isolation. For myself, I would advocate family therapy not just therapy for the child. </p><p>It is a shame you are not closer. Grandparents could be useful in such a situation in terms of giving some emotional stability and a focus outside the immediate family. But things are as they are and as you say you cannot be closer. Don't worry about your son needing you for a time... it's normal, I think! Who else is he to turn to right now? </p><p>I don't know what you can do, if anything, from the outside and from a distance. It is upsetting to watch such a thing unfolding and feel powerless to help. But I think you can be there for your son and that that helps your grandson indirectly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 551529, member: 11227"] I misread your original post, MWM. At least your grandson's mother is not being abusive to your son in front of the child... that is something. But children are so receptive and sensitive, of course, and your grandson is of course picking up all the hostility nonetheless. Children become scapegoats in these situations. Your grandson seems very difficult and is acting up, but really he is just embodying the emotional chaos of the situation, giving it expression. The "problem" is the whole set up, the whole family, not the child in isolation. For myself, I would advocate family therapy not just therapy for the child. It is a shame you are not closer. Grandparents could be useful in such a situation in terms of giving some emotional stability and a focus outside the immediate family. But things are as they are and as you say you cannot be closer. Don't worry about your son needing you for a time... it's normal, I think! Who else is he to turn to right now? I don't know what you can do, if anything, from the outside and from a distance. It is upsetting to watch such a thing unfolding and feel powerless to help. But I think you can be there for your son and that that helps your grandson indirectly. [/QUOTE]
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Need feedback from parents who went through nasty divorces
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