Need help FAST!!!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mstang67chic, Jun 28, 2009.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I am emailing my resume for a job listed in today's paper. I want to go in a slighty different direction with my cover letter as the job is for an events/marketing person for basically the parent company of a few local radio stations. This is what I've come up with. Please let me know what you think. (FYI, the ad reads as follows: Must believe in yourself, be creative, work hard and have an amazing attention to detail. Full time position with fluctuating hours. Marketing experience a plus, radio experience not required. )

    In response to your ad placed in the Sunday, June 28 edition of the XXXXX, I am submitting my resume for review. What will this show you? For starters, it will give you a brief look into my job history, education and other groups or organizations I am or have been a member of. It will also show you a quick list of events and projects I have organized or assisted with. However, the years I spent in the XXXX Jaycees and XXXX County Safe Kids can not be summed up in a few lines on a piece of paper. Through my membership in these organizations and the projects I worked on, I gained a valuable set of skills that gave me the initiative and confidence to organize a benefit concert for my local drive in theater after the screen was blown down in a storm in 2005. While I had a great team of people assisting with the project, it was done on my own time and without the support of an established organization. I believe these skills would be an asset to XXXX and the radio stations it represents.



    I am very excited about this opportunity and look forward to speaking with you further about my place in your team.




    Criticism, advice....whatever you have....hit me! (And THANKS!!!)
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2009
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Looks good to me. Good luck, you would be a great asset to the company.
     
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The only thing I can think of is to consider changing this sentence:

    to read "As you can see from my resume, I spent (many or several) years in the XXXX Jaycees and XXXX County Safe Kids and much of my experience gained would.....(benefit your company, or whatever)

    I try to remember this- the cover letter is to entice them to look at the resume, the resume is to entice them to interview you, the interview is to entice them to offer you a job.
     
  4. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Through my membership in these organizations and the projects I have worked on,

    benefit concert for my local drive in theater after the screen was destroyed in a storm in 2005.

    Paragraph break after the first sentence.

    "However" is a contradictory term, as in....I really liked the show, however the props were bad. So, I would take out that word and start a new paragraph at with that sentence. If it is too bunched up, people tend to not read them.

    and other groups or organizations I am currently or have previously been a member of.

    I am very excited about this opportunity and look forward to discussing with you further how my skills and experience can be an asset to your organization.
     
  5. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Thanks for the help and ideas! I made a few changes and sent it out.
     
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