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Need help with an autistic teen
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 319280" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Marg and Star, you really explained things so well!!!</p><p></p><p>Kudos to both of you. </p><p></p><p>To expect an Aspie to act like a "normal" kid and respond to "normal" discipline will result in more acting out and failure. To parent an Aspie, one needs to become an expert on the disorder and a teacher as well as a parent. It takes a ton of work and is not easy, but is very rewarding. My son, through mimicking, has understood now who the authority figures are he chooses to be respectful. If he chose not to, nothing could make him do it as he doesn't understand social norms (although he does try).</p><p></p><p>Aspies tend to also be very sensitive. My son will be hurt three days after we "yelled" at him. We NEVER yell at him!!! He thinks any sort of criticism is yelling and we have learned how to get his mind unstuck so that he knows we love him. If you can't be flexible with your stepson, failure is assured. You have to start to think of him as a child with a difficult disability that you, as the adult, have to learn how to help. Otherwise, you will not understand and could grow to dislike him and leave the family. Few adults chose their spouses over their children, nor do I feel should they.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 319280, member: 1550"] Marg and Star, you really explained things so well!!! Kudos to both of you. To expect an Aspie to act like a "normal" kid and respond to "normal" discipline will result in more acting out and failure. To parent an Aspie, one needs to become an expert on the disorder and a teacher as well as a parent. It takes a ton of work and is not easy, but is very rewarding. My son, through mimicking, has understood now who the authority figures are he chooses to be respectful. If he chose not to, nothing could make him do it as he doesn't understand social norms (although he does try). Aspies tend to also be very sensitive. My son will be hurt three days after we "yelled" at him. We NEVER yell at him!!! He thinks any sort of criticism is yelling and we have learned how to get his mind unstuck so that he knows we love him. If you can't be flexible with your stepson, failure is assured. You have to start to think of him as a child with a difficult disability that you, as the adult, have to learn how to help. Otherwise, you will not understand and could grow to dislike him and leave the family. Few adults chose their spouses over their children, nor do I feel should they. [/QUOTE]
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