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Need help with an autistic teen
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 319420" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Do you understand what autism is? It's interesting to read about it. If he is disabled enough to need a special school, he is really struggling. Many Aspies are book smart. You can't correct an Aspie in the same way you correct a typical child. </p><p></p><p>As for the grandparents, my guess is that they feel for him. I feel an extra soft spot for my son too. Life is harder for him. If the grandparents favor him, in my opinion, they are doing it out of compassion. In his life, not many people WILL cut him a break. He may never be independent and it won't be the fault of his father or grandparents. </p><p></p><p>in my opinion, it would be helpful for you to go to therapy to learn about autism and how to handle autistic children. I'm not talking about school. I'm talking about at home. in my humble opinion, and I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, but I think it's probably you who doesn't get it maybe because you came into this late. But you can learn about it and perhaps become more tolerant of him.</p><p></p><p>I have nothing to say about you supporting the family. It's nice that you do it, but that doesn't give you the right to tell the family how to raise their boy in my opinion (others may disagree with me). I feel that the steps should bow out and let the parent do the disciplining. My own hub is a step and that's what we did. It just didn't work out at all when he tried to be another father. The kids resented it and told him flat out that he wasn't their father, so me and ex decided to parent together. Hub stepped back and became like a supportive friend and everything got better after that. Also, there was a lot of pressure lifted from hub's shoulders. Now the older kids are grown and they do respect him. A lot. But he had to earn their respect and didn't get it just because I married him.</p><p></p><p>Anyhoooo, good luck to you and your family however you decide to handle it. I know from my hub's experience that being a step isn't easy. Take care <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 319420, member: 1550"] Do you understand what autism is? It's interesting to read about it. If he is disabled enough to need a special school, he is really struggling. Many Aspies are book smart. You can't correct an Aspie in the same way you correct a typical child. As for the grandparents, my guess is that they feel for him. I feel an extra soft spot for my son too. Life is harder for him. If the grandparents favor him, in my opinion, they are doing it out of compassion. In his life, not many people WILL cut him a break. He may never be independent and it won't be the fault of his father or grandparents. in my opinion, it would be helpful for you to go to therapy to learn about autism and how to handle autistic children. I'm not talking about school. I'm talking about at home. in my humble opinion, and I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, but I think it's probably you who doesn't get it maybe because you came into this late. But you can learn about it and perhaps become more tolerant of him. I have nothing to say about you supporting the family. It's nice that you do it, but that doesn't give you the right to tell the family how to raise their boy in my opinion (others may disagree with me). I feel that the steps should bow out and let the parent do the disciplining. My own hub is a step and that's what we did. It just didn't work out at all when he tried to be another father. The kids resented it and told him flat out that he wasn't their father, so me and ex decided to parent together. Hub stepped back and became like a supportive friend and everything got better after that. Also, there was a lot of pressure lifted from hub's shoulders. Now the older kids are grown and they do respect him. A lot. But he had to earn their respect and didn't get it just because I married him. Anyhoooo, good luck to you and your family however you decide to handle it. I know from my hub's experience that being a step isn't easy. Take care :raspberry-tounge: [/QUOTE]
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