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Need help with an autistic teen
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 459583" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Marg is right on the money. These kids "follow the beat of a different drummer". There is no reason to waste your time trying to get conformity. They simply are not like other kids...and they won't be like other aduls either. For them to attach with anyone is a wonderful thing. If the grandparents are a comfortable resource for him absolutely do not try to usurp their position. Parenting...and especially stepparenting...these different kids is a huge challenge. Do some research. You'll likely find that you are fortunate to have a nonviolent child. by the way when he says "that's your job" he isn't demeaning you. He is stating facts as he knows them. There is comfort to using categories. There is not social sensitivity. Social cues do not register easily...sometimes ever in their lives. It is not a personal attack. He is not out to get you or your husband. He is trying to get through the world the best way he knows how. Supporting and fostering his efforts is, bottom line, the best you all can do. Remember the old expression about trying "to put a square peg in a round hole"?? That's it. The square peg is wired in his brain and he will never become a round one.</p><p></p><p>It's wonderful that you are reaching out and exploring. With lots of education and awareness his whole family can help him prepare to be his best as an adult. Welcome. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 459583, member: 35"] Marg is right on the money. These kids "follow the beat of a different drummer". There is no reason to waste your time trying to get conformity. They simply are not like other kids...and they won't be like other aduls either. For them to attach with anyone is a wonderful thing. If the grandparents are a comfortable resource for him absolutely do not try to usurp their position. Parenting...and especially stepparenting...these different kids is a huge challenge. Do some research. You'll likely find that you are fortunate to have a nonviolent child. by the way when he says "that's your job" he isn't demeaning you. He is stating facts as he knows them. There is comfort to using categories. There is not social sensitivity. Social cues do not register easily...sometimes ever in their lives. It is not a personal attack. He is not out to get you or your husband. He is trying to get through the world the best way he knows how. Supporting and fostering his efforts is, bottom line, the best you all can do. Remember the old expression about trying "to put a square peg in a round hole"?? That's it. The square peg is wired in his brain and he will never become a round one. It's wonderful that you are reaching out and exploring. With lots of education and awareness his whole family can help him prepare to be his best as an adult. Welcome. DDD [/QUOTE]
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