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Need help with eye drops PLEASE!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 515246" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I know I am going to get yelled at here and that is okay. If the new thingy you found is able to do what is needed, then go for it aby all means. But if drops are what s needed for her health, then maybe you need to force the issue.</p><p></p><p>I have a policy with all my kids that they are kids and husband and I are the parents. When it comes to medical things, parents make the decisions. We listen to kids, we care about their concerns and we explain in as much detail as is appropriate what is going to happen and why and do waht we can to make thigns easy for a child.</p><p></p><p>But if the choice is holding my child down to force drops in or risking having her lose her sight, well, my child will be held and forced. I will make every effort to allow the child to submit but if after 2 or 3 appts the child is still unable to get over the anxiety, phobias, difficult child issues or other thigns, then the test still has to be done.</p><p></p><p>I won't spend an afternoon cajoling a 2yo with a 104.5 degree fever to take a dose of tylenol and I won't spend weeks trying to get a 9yo to allow eye drops to be put in. Not if there is a real medical need for them. There have been times when a child balked the way that your difficult child is, when they truly could not submit. It was anxiety based, and all the back and forth, we will do it at X time, we will do it this way, just increased the anxiety.</p><p></p><p>So I had husband or my mom or my dad help, or once had all 3 of them help, and we held Wiz and he got the medication he needed. It wasn't fun and he hated it and us for a few days. He finally realized that we did it because the long term consequences for not doing it were serious and it was in his best interest. I also did this with Jessica twice. We all hated it, but I did it because they needed to have it done. </p><p></p><p>My parents did this with my brother because he had some really bad shots wth one round of ear problems and would run screaming away from the office (as in literally ran down the street one time when I was six) if he saw a needle. </p><p></p><p>After the procedure is forced, we all talked through what happened, how it was NOT as awful as it was feared to be, and that it HAD to ahppen. My kids had the freedom to freak out and they did NOT have the responsibility of potentially doing long term damage to themselves by not allowing a medication or exam. by being able to freak out and still having it done to them, my kids did eventually stop freaking so much.</p><p></p><p>By now this has become a HUGE monster under the bed for your daughter, Kiesta. Each tme it is discussed and it is tried but it fails, it becomes a bigger deal and is more and more scary. She knows t is very important, and having to power to stop something very very important is scary to a child. She s seeing that you are more afraid of her anxiety than of the possible long term damage caused by an untreated eye problem that could only be diagnosis'd by this exam. </p><p></p><p>My kids still got the reward for having it done. They knew they were not alone with the responsibility to submit, and that if they were unable to allow the drops to be put in or the shot to be given or the medication Occupational Therapist (OT) be given, then <em>because we loved them</em> we would make sure they got it anyway. </p><p></p><p>it sounds barbaric to force the medication on a child, but really it is not. The message was that we loved the child enough to make sure they got the medical care they needed even if they stood in their own way. they could trust us to make sure that they woudl have what they NEEDED, even if the person we had to fight was themselves, or the problem we needed to fight was their own fears anxiety. by giving in and letting them not have the procedure, we fed the fears. We let them think the fears were realistic and the procedure/medication/test/whatever was truly something to be feared.</p><p></p><p>we NEVER had someone that our child didn't know do the holding down. It was always me and husband or gma or gpa. If a nurse or technician was helping to reestrain the child then that person was as far from the child's face and line of sight as possible, so that the child knew that this was important and we loved them enough to not let them hurt themselves by not having this done.</p><p></p><p>I udnerstand wanting it to be easy for her. I don't think this will happen unless she is forced, at elast not for a time or two. IF this other method is able to give the needed info and do what is needed, go for it. But if it isn't, you are feeding her fear by allowing her to keep refusing and postponing the drops. Each time you are not successful, you are <em>teaching</em> her that they are a big, bad thing to be afraid of. Once she has them in and the exam done, give her the reward and elt her know that next time it will be easier. </p><p></p><p>Now you can all leap on me telling me how wrong it is to force a 9yo to allow a medically necessary procedure to be done. It is okay. I understand why you think that. I just think it woudl be a far greater wrong to allow the child to have a year or more's damage to her eyes to be done if the test at thsi time could help stop or prevent it. Kids are just not able to make the tough calls on medical decisions or other serious issues. It is why they are kids and we are parents.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 515246, member: 1233"] I know I am going to get yelled at here and that is okay. If the new thingy you found is able to do what is needed, then go for it aby all means. But if drops are what s needed for her health, then maybe you need to force the issue. I have a policy with all my kids that they are kids and husband and I are the parents. When it comes to medical things, parents make the decisions. We listen to kids, we care about their concerns and we explain in as much detail as is appropriate what is going to happen and why and do waht we can to make thigns easy for a child. But if the choice is holding my child down to force drops in or risking having her lose her sight, well, my child will be held and forced. I will make every effort to allow the child to submit but if after 2 or 3 appts the child is still unable to get over the anxiety, phobias, difficult child issues or other thigns, then the test still has to be done. I won't spend an afternoon cajoling a 2yo with a 104.5 degree fever to take a dose of tylenol and I won't spend weeks trying to get a 9yo to allow eye drops to be put in. Not if there is a real medical need for them. There have been times when a child balked the way that your difficult child is, when they truly could not submit. It was anxiety based, and all the back and forth, we will do it at X time, we will do it this way, just increased the anxiety. So I had husband or my mom or my dad help, or once had all 3 of them help, and we held Wiz and he got the medication he needed. It wasn't fun and he hated it and us for a few days. He finally realized that we did it because the long term consequences for not doing it were serious and it was in his best interest. I also did this with Jessica twice. We all hated it, but I did it because they needed to have it done. My parents did this with my brother because he had some really bad shots wth one round of ear problems and would run screaming away from the office (as in literally ran down the street one time when I was six) if he saw a needle. After the procedure is forced, we all talked through what happened, how it was NOT as awful as it was feared to be, and that it HAD to ahppen. My kids had the freedom to freak out and they did NOT have the responsibility of potentially doing long term damage to themselves by not allowing a medication or exam. by being able to freak out and still having it done to them, my kids did eventually stop freaking so much. By now this has become a HUGE monster under the bed for your daughter, Kiesta. Each tme it is discussed and it is tried but it fails, it becomes a bigger deal and is more and more scary. She knows t is very important, and having to power to stop something very very important is scary to a child. She s seeing that you are more afraid of her anxiety than of the possible long term damage caused by an untreated eye problem that could only be diagnosis'd by this exam. My kids still got the reward for having it done. They knew they were not alone with the responsibility to submit, and that if they were unable to allow the drops to be put in or the shot to be given or the medication Occupational Therapist (OT) be given, then [I]because we loved them[/I] we would make sure they got it anyway. it sounds barbaric to force the medication on a child, but really it is not. The message was that we loved the child enough to make sure they got the medical care they needed even if they stood in their own way. they could trust us to make sure that they woudl have what they NEEDED, even if the person we had to fight was themselves, or the problem we needed to fight was their own fears anxiety. by giving in and letting them not have the procedure, we fed the fears. We let them think the fears were realistic and the procedure/medication/test/whatever was truly something to be feared. we NEVER had someone that our child didn't know do the holding down. It was always me and husband or gma or gpa. If a nurse or technician was helping to reestrain the child then that person was as far from the child's face and line of sight as possible, so that the child knew that this was important and we loved them enough to not let them hurt themselves by not having this done. I udnerstand wanting it to be easy for her. I don't think this will happen unless she is forced, at elast not for a time or two. IF this other method is able to give the needed info and do what is needed, go for it. But if it isn't, you are feeding her fear by allowing her to keep refusing and postponing the drops. Each time you are not successful, you are [I]teaching[/I] her that they are a big, bad thing to be afraid of. Once she has them in and the exam done, give her the reward and elt her know that next time it will be easier. Now you can all leap on me telling me how wrong it is to force a 9yo to allow a medically necessary procedure to be done. It is okay. I understand why you think that. I just think it woudl be a far greater wrong to allow the child to have a year or more's damage to her eyes to be done if the test at thsi time could help stop or prevent it. Kids are just not able to make the tough calls on medical decisions or other serious issues. It is why they are kids and we are parents. [/QUOTE]
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Need help with eye drops PLEASE!
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