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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 721946" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>EMDR is eye movement desensitization and retraining and is often used for PTSD and other types of trauma. It might be very good for your grandson. </p><p></p><p>Your neighbors need to be a bit more realistic. If there are 12 and 13 year olds with smartphones, it is highly likely that they are the ones exposing the child to this. Kids are not known for telling the truth, especially with adults browbeating them to "tell the truth". Parents ask the same questions over and over and over and kids change the answers until the parents are satisfied with what they say. This has been shown in study after study, it is one reason why kids are really awful witnesses in court cases. Especially if parents have questioned them even a "little" or if untrained police officers have questioned them. All questioning of children for court cases should be on video because the more you ask a child a question, the more you are telling them you don't like the answer they gave you the first time you asked the question. </p><p></p><p>It is time to ignore your neighbors for a while. Focus on family and other friends. Be indignant that they have tried and convicted your grandson without giving him any chance to defend himself. I thought you were innocent until proven guilty in this country. Where is the proof??</p><p></p><p>I do think you need to insist on supervising your grandson around other children for a while, especially in your neighborhood. This is to protect him, not to punish him. Who knows what the neighbors will do to him with their allegations? </p><p></p><p>I do think he needs to see a psychologist to help deal with this. With the incident in the past, with possibly being victimized, and with the accusations in the current situation.</p><p></p><p>There is one possible other way this situation could be happening. If your grandson is bipolar, he could have a symptom called hypersexuality. It is a very strong sex drive and it can present in children who don't really understand the social rules of sex. Sometimes it is one of the earliest symptoms to present. There was a girl at one of the daycares my oldest attended and they had to be very careful with her because she was extremely curious sexually about herself and others. In elementary school it became a real problem and in 3rd grade she was showing mood swings finally so her parents had her evaluated. She was bipolar. The mood swings were not clear the way they can be in adults, but something in her mood was really off. Mood stabilizers changed everything for the little girl. </p><p></p><p>If your son is bipolar, he could be seeking out porn to deal with sexual urges. He might not understand that it isn't okay to show them to other people. He truly might not understand the rules. This might be a problem especially if the other kids know he did this before and they tell him that it is okay because they are older and it is okay now. He may need super clear guidelines of when it is okay to look at that sort of thing and to show it to other people. You might even want to write social stories and to role play situations so that he can become comfortable with telling people "No" when the kids try to get him into trouble this way. Kids of these ages are curious about this stuff, and they have incredible access to it thanks to the internet. Knowing they can get him into big trouble so easily would be lots of fun to some of the middle school mean kids, and he needs to be bully proofed so that he can handle those situations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 721946, member: 1233"] EMDR is eye movement desensitization and retraining and is often used for PTSD and other types of trauma. It might be very good for your grandson. Your neighbors need to be a bit more realistic. If there are 12 and 13 year olds with smartphones, it is highly likely that they are the ones exposing the child to this. Kids are not known for telling the truth, especially with adults browbeating them to "tell the truth". Parents ask the same questions over and over and over and kids change the answers until the parents are satisfied with what they say. This has been shown in study after study, it is one reason why kids are really awful witnesses in court cases. Especially if parents have questioned them even a "little" or if untrained police officers have questioned them. All questioning of children for court cases should be on video because the more you ask a child a question, the more you are telling them you don't like the answer they gave you the first time you asked the question. It is time to ignore your neighbors for a while. Focus on family and other friends. Be indignant that they have tried and convicted your grandson without giving him any chance to defend himself. I thought you were innocent until proven guilty in this country. Where is the proof?? I do think you need to insist on supervising your grandson around other children for a while, especially in your neighborhood. This is to protect him, not to punish him. Who knows what the neighbors will do to him with their allegations? I do think he needs to see a psychologist to help deal with this. With the incident in the past, with possibly being victimized, and with the accusations in the current situation. There is one possible other way this situation could be happening. If your grandson is bipolar, he could have a symptom called hypersexuality. It is a very strong sex drive and it can present in children who don't really understand the social rules of sex. Sometimes it is one of the earliest symptoms to present. There was a girl at one of the daycares my oldest attended and they had to be very careful with her because she was extremely curious sexually about herself and others. In elementary school it became a real problem and in 3rd grade she was showing mood swings finally so her parents had her evaluated. She was bipolar. The mood swings were not clear the way they can be in adults, but something in her mood was really off. Mood stabilizers changed everything for the little girl. If your son is bipolar, he could be seeking out porn to deal with sexual urges. He might not understand that it isn't okay to show them to other people. He truly might not understand the rules. This might be a problem especially if the other kids know he did this before and they tell him that it is okay because they are older and it is okay now. He may need super clear guidelines of when it is okay to look at that sort of thing and to show it to other people. You might even want to write social stories and to role play situations so that he can become comfortable with telling people "No" when the kids try to get him into trouble this way. Kids of these ages are curious about this stuff, and they have incredible access to it thanks to the internet. Knowing they can get him into big trouble so easily would be lots of fun to some of the middle school mean kids, and he needs to be bully proofed so that he can handle those situations. [/QUOTE]
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