Need immediate good thoughts, prayers whatever...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Dec 7, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Q is at MOA with an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker, he was fine and suddenly while walking back to the car he started going off... I can hear him screaming and ranting in the parking lot etc. I am amazed there is no security running there, they have cameras everywhere and he was trying to kick and spit at her. This smacks of a seizure. Just so totally out of control, and we haven't had that for over a week. I am going to have them stay closer to home because I need to get to them faster if this happens. She is super experienced but anyone can only take so much.

    He said he is going to calm but he is screaming while saying it, it seems way beyond his control. I have my stuff on ready to run out there but she is saying she is going to try it because she thinks he will be better for her than if I show up and force him to my car. Hard thing with her is he will say NO I wlll not do x, y z, and sometimes she gets it that it is all talk, he does what he is saying he wont do, but other times she argues with him and says then we can't do whatever.... so I reminded her when I heard him and she said well then I wont open the car that he is trying to get in and calm so maybe just climb in and dont start teh car... she did and he was quieter and she said she will pull over and call me if he can't make it home. He wants to see a show when he gets home....so do I say well you turned it around so yes you can or do I risk escalating him by taking away the one thing that he is focusing on to get home and stay calm?




    I hate these times....
     
  2. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Buddy I am sending out some major prayers your way. I hope Q makes it home safely, and you can make the right decision regarding his show. It is so hard trying to do "the right thing". I hope you can have a calmer evening.
     
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Saying prayers. If it were me I would probably let him watch the show. Is there another consequence you could use that doesn't involve the show so maybe he won't escalate?
     
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    He is home, she said as soon as they got going, with the radio on, he settled and started to fall asleep. They parked in our lot for a while and rested, listening to music. She said he never kicked her or actually spit on her, just came toward her. That's good because when he had that medication reaction it was different, he sounded like that but actually was really physical. She said that she always gets his drinks for him, but she had him do it this time and he got upset after that... I suspect it tipped his already overstimulated self over the edge. Looking back she said she would do it differently. Its all we really can ask of even ourselves.... to try to figure it out and do better. she was totally calm and said they had a great time, etc. not at all what I heard on the phone from him....she was calm the whole time. He is now, and I already asked him about if he wanted the news I have, and it is nothing bad, just a tiny change.... he said yes. I told him and he said that was ok. doesn't seem too fazed.... but we will see tomorrow.
     
  5. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Glad things calmed down and I'm even more glad you were able to talk HER through it. It was a learning experience for her and she stepped up to the challenge.

    As for the show, I've got a standing promise with difficult child 1 that as long as he turns it around, he can earn privileges back. I would especially do that with Q if you know it's a seizure. THAT should make the behavior exempt from consequences. That is the extreme case of him not being in control. His being tired afterwards is evidence that it was absolutely a seizure. Anyhow, that is my philosophy and JMHO.

    {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you both.
     
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Whew. Glad it has calmed down.

    And you think it wasn't a seizure, after all? I was thinking no show, just because the motion might make it worse. You never know. But you already had music going so that's good.

    Hugs, calm, and luck coming your way.
     
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Glad everyone is o.k. Hugs to you all.
     
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I totally agree, where I get stuck is if he gets it and then later does a typical teen thing, and then says, I know I can just earn it back.... I get kind of stuck myself then.... HE only knows what he feels, doesn't see the patterns (like difficult child 1's sleep I suppose??) so maybe I need to start educating him a little bit on the difference. I nearly always give him chances to earn back. Especially if he hasn't hurt someone.
     
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