Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Need input on a sensitive subject
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 153832" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Honestly, I hate people who adopt for "unselfish" reasons -- they're the ones who the first to walk away from the child if there are problems. Adoption is a selfish act -- you do it because something is missing from YOUR life, not the child's.</p><p> </p><p>That being said, the ultimate decision has to be yours but the odds of getting an emotionally healthy child are pretty slim if you're going through the foster care system. Nowadays, if you're adopting through the system, odds are even a newborn will have major problems because of the genetic, drug and alcohol issues of the biomom.</p><p> </p><p>One thing you might want to consider is semi-long-term fostering. The child has more resources available as a foster child, you can have it with you long enough to give it stability and you get more help. In many ways, it really can be having your cake and eating it, too. While you may get a child with problems, you also get the help and resources (including respite) you need. Plus, if you find that the child needs more help than you can give, you have the option of saying no before it is placed with you or saying this is more than you can deal once placed without it being a huge black mark that would prevent you from adopting in the future.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever you decide, I wish you and your husband the best. It is not an easy decision.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 153832, member: 3626"] Honestly, I hate people who adopt for "unselfish" reasons -- they're the ones who the first to walk away from the child if there are problems. Adoption is a selfish act -- you do it because something is missing from YOUR life, not the child's. That being said, the ultimate decision has to be yours but the odds of getting an emotionally healthy child are pretty slim if you're going through the foster care system. Nowadays, if you're adopting through the system, odds are even a newborn will have major problems because of the genetic, drug and alcohol issues of the biomom. One thing you might want to consider is semi-long-term fostering. The child has more resources available as a foster child, you can have it with you long enough to give it stability and you get more help. In many ways, it really can be having your cake and eating it, too. While you may get a child with problems, you also get the help and resources (including respite) you need. Plus, if you find that the child needs more help than you can give, you have the option of saying no before it is placed with you or saying this is more than you can deal once placed without it being a huge black mark that would prevent you from adopting in the future. Whatever you decide, I wish you and your husband the best. It is not an easy decision. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Need input on a sensitive subject
Top