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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 153870" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>You don't need to explain yourself to me either, I completely understand what you are saying and you are NOT selfish.</p><p></p><p>I could never do this again. My difficult child has required every ounce of energy, patience, compassion, caring, love, fortitude, strength, that I have and I just couldn't start over. Going through the foster care system will be risky as you know. Those kids are in the system for a reason, not of their own doing but certainly their genes are not going to change once they leave.</p><p></p><p>If, and I mean a big IF, I ever did this again I would ask for much more background. I would not consider a child from a birthmother that had an addiction problems, that came from a birthmother who had previous abortions indicating poor judgement and impulse control, that came from an abuse or neglect situation. This probably disqualifies most all of the children in the foster care system. I hope I don't sound horrible now but I look at our life and think how terribly naive we were to think we would have any significant impact on our difficult child's life given her genetic history. I think now how stupid I was to think we could have done anything to stop the inevitable from happening.</p><p></p><p>I love my difficult child with all my heart. I could not fight for her as I do if I did not. It tears me apart to think what her future may be. But I could not and would not go into this situation again.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 153870, member: 59"] You don't need to explain yourself to me either, I completely understand what you are saying and you are NOT selfish. I could never do this again. My difficult child has required every ounce of energy, patience, compassion, caring, love, fortitude, strength, that I have and I just couldn't start over. Going through the foster care system will be risky as you know. Those kids are in the system for a reason, not of their own doing but certainly their genes are not going to change once they leave. If, and I mean a big IF, I ever did this again I would ask for much more background. I would not consider a child from a birthmother that had an addiction problems, that came from a birthmother who had previous abortions indicating poor judgement and impulse control, that came from an abuse or neglect situation. This probably disqualifies most all of the children in the foster care system. I hope I don't sound horrible now but I look at our life and think how terribly naive we were to think we would have any significant impact on our difficult child's life given her genetic history. I think now how stupid I was to think we could have done anything to stop the inevitable from happening. I love my difficult child with all my heart. I could not fight for her as I do if I did not. It tears me apart to think what her future may be. But I could not and would not go into this situation again. Hugs, Nancy [/QUOTE]
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