Steely
Active Member
So, I am really unsure how to deal with my kid right now, and I need input.
It is sorta confusing, and complicated, but in a nutshell my son is RUDE! :frown:
Not just to me rude, (because that is just a norm by now), but as an actual living person/soul/spirit rude! As of late, it is just the way he operates his life. I mean, when he was younger he would be rude or mean when he was mad - but now - everything in life is approached with negativity and opposition.
We drive down the street and his incessant babble includes racist comments, sexist comments, general hate comments, like "what does the think he is looking at?", or "what a stupid car", or "what a dumba..."
When we go in a store, he sulks around like a thug, and if someone talks to him he mumbles. OR. He engages in a explosive conversation with them about their knowledge of a product.
If we watch TV together he does the same exact things - calling everyone a dumba..., or worse, challenging every race, color, creed. It is horrible. I mean, we can even be outside playing with the dogs, and he finds someone to hate.
I guess, I really just don't know how to handle this. Ignoring would be good, I guess, or walking away when I can and refusing to be any part of a conversation like that. But I guess, that when I do the ignoring routine, I somehow feel like I am failing him as a mom and mentor. Shouldn't I be reprimanding, scolding, and chastising him for approaching his life with such hate????
Often, very often, I cannot ignore it, because I get so righteously indignant and over the top angry with him, that I just go off! I mean, I am the peace-nik kinda girl - the anti-war, anti- guns, equality for all, blah, blah, blah person. And of course he knows that, and that just seems to fuel his fire.
I know part of this is teenage-dom. And the double edged sword, is that for him, this is kinda good. He has been very over attached to me, and the counselor & psychiatrist have been very worried about him becoming more independent. So, in theory he has targeted the very core of who I am, and is rejecting it in every way possible. But he is combining it with his difficult child-ness, and really, it is making me SO angry, and SO worried about his future with this kinda attitude, I am having trouble being somewhat glad he is detaching.
So.........whatta ya think? What would you do?
It is sorta confusing, and complicated, but in a nutshell my son is RUDE! :frown:
Not just to me rude, (because that is just a norm by now), but as an actual living person/soul/spirit rude! As of late, it is just the way he operates his life. I mean, when he was younger he would be rude or mean when he was mad - but now - everything in life is approached with negativity and opposition.
We drive down the street and his incessant babble includes racist comments, sexist comments, general hate comments, like "what does the think he is looking at?", or "what a stupid car", or "what a dumba..."
When we go in a store, he sulks around like a thug, and if someone talks to him he mumbles. OR. He engages in a explosive conversation with them about their knowledge of a product.
If we watch TV together he does the same exact things - calling everyone a dumba..., or worse, challenging every race, color, creed. It is horrible. I mean, we can even be outside playing with the dogs, and he finds someone to hate.
I guess, I really just don't know how to handle this. Ignoring would be good, I guess, or walking away when I can and refusing to be any part of a conversation like that. But I guess, that when I do the ignoring routine, I somehow feel like I am failing him as a mom and mentor. Shouldn't I be reprimanding, scolding, and chastising him for approaching his life with such hate????
Often, very often, I cannot ignore it, because I get so righteously indignant and over the top angry with him, that I just go off! I mean, I am the peace-nik kinda girl - the anti-war, anti- guns, equality for all, blah, blah, blah person. And of course he knows that, and that just seems to fuel his fire.
I know part of this is teenage-dom. And the double edged sword, is that for him, this is kinda good. He has been very over attached to me, and the counselor & psychiatrist have been very worried about him becoming more independent. So, in theory he has targeted the very core of who I am, and is rejecting it in every way possible. But he is combining it with his difficult child-ness, and really, it is making me SO angry, and SO worried about his future with this kinda attitude, I am having trouble being somewhat glad he is detaching.
So.........whatta ya think? What would you do?