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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 420575" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Sue</p><p></p><p>I understand the desire to reach out to thank you due to the city/drug issue possibility alone. But as you said "familiarity builds comtempt". Plus you have the whole possibility of him sliding right into old familiar habits once he comes to stay. And when you get into that groove, you run the risk of all old behaviors you haven't seen in a while resurfacing, including the violence. Then you have Diva who is still dealing with past issues to stir up the pot, as TTwith anger issues toward thank you, she will probably really stir up that pot too. Also thank you is alienating people he lives with......which makes me wonder if living with him has really grown easier with "maturity" or if he doesn't cross and invisible line and become violent because they're not family and "safe" to do so. There is no obvious sign that he is trying to move forward........</p><p></p><p>Me? No. I wouldn't do it. </p><p></p><p>Like you, I'd probably find myself wanting to reach out and do it. But alienating room mates and no progression forward would cause me to stop. At home he would have zero desire for improvement and could stagnate or slip right back into the child role and old familiar patterns of behavior. I'm thinking that is what would most likely happen..........and then you're going to be pulled back into difficult child drama and will be faced with the battled to get him back out of the house again..........which would probably wreck the relationship you now have with him. On top of this.......kids still at home also need to be considered.</p><p></p><p>I think I would ask myself : <strong>Am I willing to risk life returning to the way it was before thank you left the home?</strong> Because nontreatment/medication compliant and zero progression gives me the momma gut feeling that is what you'd be dealing with once the honeymoon period wore off. <strong> Can I offer him incentive and real help to move him forward.......and will he take it and use it?</strong> On this one.........if having a roof over your head, food in the stomach, and basic needs met isn't incentive enough......being back home probably won't be either.</p><p></p><p>A hard dilemma and not fun choices to make. It's hard to watch them spinning their wheels and getting nowhere. </p><p></p><p>I hope this made some sense. I'm only on my first cup of coffee. lol <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/mornincoffee.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":mornincoffee:" title="mornincoffee :mornincoffee:" data-shortname=":mornincoffee:" /></p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 420575, member: 84"] Sue I understand the desire to reach out to thank you due to the city/drug issue possibility alone. But as you said "familiarity builds comtempt". Plus you have the whole possibility of him sliding right into old familiar habits once he comes to stay. And when you get into that groove, you run the risk of all old behaviors you haven't seen in a while resurfacing, including the violence. Then you have Diva who is still dealing with past issues to stir up the pot, as TTwith anger issues toward thank you, she will probably really stir up that pot too. Also thank you is alienating people he lives with......which makes me wonder if living with him has really grown easier with "maturity" or if he doesn't cross and invisible line and become violent because they're not family and "safe" to do so. There is no obvious sign that he is trying to move forward........ Me? No. I wouldn't do it. Like you, I'd probably find myself wanting to reach out and do it. But alienating room mates and no progression forward would cause me to stop. At home he would have zero desire for improvement and could stagnate or slip right back into the child role and old familiar patterns of behavior. I'm thinking that is what would most likely happen..........and then you're going to be pulled back into difficult child drama and will be faced with the battled to get him back out of the house again..........which would probably wreck the relationship you now have with him. On top of this.......kids still at home also need to be considered. I think I would ask myself : [B]Am I willing to risk life returning to the way it was before thank you left the home?[/B] Because nontreatment/medication compliant and zero progression gives me the momma gut feeling that is what you'd be dealing with once the honeymoon period wore off. [B] Can I offer him incentive and real help to move him forward.......and will he take it and use it?[/B] On this one.........if having a roof over your head, food in the stomach, and basic needs met isn't incentive enough......being back home probably won't be either. A hard dilemma and not fun choices to make. It's hard to watch them spinning their wheels and getting nowhere. I hope this made some sense. I'm only on my first cup of coffee. lol :mornincoffee: ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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