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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 420831" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>slsh, I think as a parent we want to help our kids to learn how to be an adult. Having a conversation with thank you about what his goals are and helping him develop steps to set a goal would be the first thing I would do.</p><p>A knee jerk reaction of bringing him home isn't necessarily the best parenting decision but it may be a stop gap to get him on a path he wants to be on. </p><p>Questions I would ask is "what does he want for the next month, the next year, the next 5 yreas?" Our kids don't seem to have the ability to project forward. Does he have a goal of a job, home, wife, children? Even if it's something he wants 10 yrs from now, helping him to visualize a goal is a big help. Then we talk about steps focusing on the first 3. </p><p>Having no vision of a goal or a future is when we have young adults who just do exactly the same thing they do day after day. Never any progress. </p><p>Does he want a GED? Does he want to feel like a productive member of society or just a leech on society? I'm pretty blunt with difficult child so he understands that society </p><p>views leeches as less than deserving. What does he want? </p><p>I suspect that with the SS cuts that are being demanded of by some will affect our young adults who don't have physical disabilities. Our boys look and sound capable even though they aren't. Your son has never held a full time job. Neither has mine. My son can not as of yet. My hope is that some day he will be able to attend and do a job for an 8 hr day. It's pretty iffy. Until thank you has held a full time job, you have to assume that he can't yet. Vocational help will be a way for our young men to have the supports to hold a productive job. </p><p>So I guess my suggestion is to not offer him a solution but help him define a solution and steps to move forward.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 420831, member: 3"] slsh, I think as a parent we want to help our kids to learn how to be an adult. Having a conversation with thank you about what his goals are and helping him develop steps to set a goal would be the first thing I would do. A knee jerk reaction of bringing him home isn't necessarily the best parenting decision but it may be a stop gap to get him on a path he wants to be on. Questions I would ask is "what does he want for the next month, the next year, the next 5 yreas?" Our kids don't seem to have the ability to project forward. Does he have a goal of a job, home, wife, children? Even if it's something he wants 10 yrs from now, helping him to visualize a goal is a big help. Then we talk about steps focusing on the first 3. Having no vision of a goal or a future is when we have young adults who just do exactly the same thing they do day after day. Never any progress. Does he want a GED? Does he want to feel like a productive member of society or just a leech on society? I'm pretty blunt with difficult child so he understands that society views leeches as less than deserving. What does he want? I suspect that with the SS cuts that are being demanded of by some will affect our young adults who don't have physical disabilities. Our boys look and sound capable even though they aren't. Your son has never held a full time job. Neither has mine. My son can not as of yet. My hope is that some day he will be able to attend and do a job for an 8 hr day. It's pretty iffy. Until thank you has held a full time job, you have to assume that he can't yet. Vocational help will be a way for our young men to have the supports to hold a productive job. So I guess my suggestion is to not offer him a solution but help him define a solution and steps to move forward. [/QUOTE]
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