gingersgrl
New Member
Well basically I told her she had to quit. She went to school with this girl that wanted to be friends and it was her dad coaching. He had been very involved in softball with his sons who were too old so he was basically making his daughter do this because he wanted to still be coaching.
The reason I made her quit though was because I expressed to my difficult child that I wasn't comfortable and needed to further research this and get to know and trust these adults that were doing this. I told her she could drive with them to the practices (this was before posting here) but she was not to go to their home until I was more comfortable with everything. She came home from school and told me that the friends mother was going to pick her up from school on that Thurs. along with her daughter and then go to practice from there. I asked her are they going straight to practice or to her house and long story short she lied to me and planned to go to their house until they went to practice at 5:30 so she would have been at their home for an hour and a half.
It didn't happen because I in the meantime had second thoughts about her going with them even to practices and planned to drive her myself. The day of the practice I called their house to see when she needed to be at the field for practice (since it must've been earlier because they were going straight from school right? ) and the time difference gave her away. Her and the girlfriend planned the lie and then she said they were going to have the mother get on board and back up their lies. Given all that there was no way she was going anymore. I was really angry that she knew I was concerned for her safety and I hadn't said she could never go over to their house, I just wanted time to get comfortable with them and their motives etc. The fact the trusting her is huge for me and she has a friend and the friends mother going to lie to me too, no way. Over and done with. As some else said here, this was for serious players which she wasn't. It was about 2 girls wanting to hang out together. I was ok with that and even understood it. But lying to me. All of them? Really? About the only thing I said she couldn't do just yet? Too much.
And then to top it all off I caught her lying about her chores that same day too. And then she comes home the next day from school and walks in telling me about all the parties she's planning on going to this month. She's been having to do some rethinking about that too. I've been telling her for months....your in high school now. There are going to be many opportunities for fun social events open up to you but I have to be able to have some trust in you in order for you to go to these things and first thing- the softball- and first week of the first thing and she's lying to me about the only thing I asked her not to do.
The reason I made her quit though was because I expressed to my difficult child that I wasn't comfortable and needed to further research this and get to know and trust these adults that were doing this. I told her she could drive with them to the practices (this was before posting here) but she was not to go to their home until I was more comfortable with everything. She came home from school and told me that the friends mother was going to pick her up from school on that Thurs. along with her daughter and then go to practice from there. I asked her are they going straight to practice or to her house and long story short she lied to me and planned to go to their house until they went to practice at 5:30 so she would have been at their home for an hour and a half.
It didn't happen because I in the meantime had second thoughts about her going with them even to practices and planned to drive her myself. The day of the practice I called their house to see when she needed to be at the field for practice (since it must've been earlier because they were going straight from school right? ) and the time difference gave her away. Her and the girlfriend planned the lie and then she said they were going to have the mother get on board and back up their lies. Given all that there was no way she was going anymore. I was really angry that she knew I was concerned for her safety and I hadn't said she could never go over to their house, I just wanted time to get comfortable with them and their motives etc. The fact the trusting her is huge for me and she has a friend and the friends mother going to lie to me too, no way. Over and done with. As some else said here, this was for serious players which she wasn't. It was about 2 girls wanting to hang out together. I was ok with that and even understood it. But lying to me. All of them? Really? About the only thing I said she couldn't do just yet? Too much.
And then to top it all off I caught her lying about her chores that same day too. And then she comes home the next day from school and walks in telling me about all the parties she's planning on going to this month. She's been having to do some rethinking about that too. I've been telling her for months....your in high school now. There are going to be many opportunities for fun social events open up to you but I have to be able to have some trust in you in order for you to go to these things and first thing- the softball- and first week of the first thing and she's lying to me about the only thing I asked her not to do.
