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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 544534" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Sue, I am out of the loop and didn't realize Diva was struggling. I think setting the atmosphere differently may help. The tug of war of me vs. you makes it really difficult for a young teen to see the goal. If she feels badly, asking her for suggestions on how to work through the obstacle to the goal of feeling better may allow her some control. Once, long ago, I was of the mentality of "my way or the highway" but after living through and watching their pain and feeling my pain, I changed that to "what does my child need? How can I help them find their way?" I am still pretty firm but it's usually about a plan that we had a conversation about and he agreed to beforehand. I just hold him accountable to his own plan. (sometimes to his dismay)</p><p>If she is unhappy, then trying suggestions she makes may make her more willing to try your suggestions. I know Depression takes on a life of it's own and can defeat the best of intentions. I hope the Lexapro continues to help her and she can start to see some light at the end of the tunnel. </p><p>I'm sure she knows you are on her side and want to help her but she may need to hear it. Although she may suffer with the same issues of thank you, she is not the same person and has not had the same experiences both positive or negative so you can't approach her in the same way. Her crooked thinking is probably genetically similar to his but hopefully on a different scale. Hugs. You do have your hands full.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 544534, member: 3"] Sue, I am out of the loop and didn't realize Diva was struggling. I think setting the atmosphere differently may help. The tug of war of me vs. you makes it really difficult for a young teen to see the goal. If she feels badly, asking her for suggestions on how to work through the obstacle to the goal of feeling better may allow her some control. Once, long ago, I was of the mentality of "my way or the highway" but after living through and watching their pain and feeling my pain, I changed that to "what does my child need? How can I help them find their way?" I am still pretty firm but it's usually about a plan that we had a conversation about and he agreed to beforehand. I just hold him accountable to his own plan. (sometimes to his dismay) If she is unhappy, then trying suggestions she makes may make her more willing to try your suggestions. I know Depression takes on a life of it's own and can defeat the best of intentions. I hope the Lexapro continues to help her and she can start to see some light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sure she knows you are on her side and want to help her but she may need to hear it. Although she may suffer with the same issues of thank you, she is not the same person and has not had the same experiences both positive or negative so you can't approach her in the same way. Her crooked thinking is probably genetically similar to his but hopefully on a different scale. Hugs. You do have your hands full. [/QUOTE]
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