Need Prayers husband having a heart attack

Marguerite

Active Member
I only just saw this - Step gave me a heads up.

HD, I hope he's okay. Given the thumbnail sketch history you gave, I'm betting he has multiple arterial blockages, possibly including the kidney. A lowered BiPolar (BP) from bradycardia might have reduced renal perfusion also. Just a thought. So when the heart gets back under control, the kidney issue may at least partly resolve. Both kidneys - sounds like perfusion to me.

You did the right thing getting him to the hospital when you did. Chances are, getting him there much faster may still have not been fast enough - by the time he felt that level of chest pain, the damage may have already been done. The pain was probably a sign of the cardiac hypoxia and it really doesn't take long for heart muscle to be damaged. If this damage means his heart needs help contracting, they may suggest a pacemaker to keep it in line. As you're a nurse, you don't need me to tell you any of this.

I had to chuckle at your comments about hypochondria. I remember reading once, a hypochondriac's epitaph - "I TOLD you I was sick!"
The thing is, you did react, you did get him the help. And the hospital sounds like they did a really good job, including that student nurse. Hats off to them.

Look after yourself, get sleep when and where you can. The cleaning can go hang in the meantime. Right now, your health is more important. Someone's got to stay healthy!

Hugs.

Marg (and Marg's Man, I was just discussing it with him, he sends his thoughts and prayers also).
 
T

TeDo

Guest
You haven't been "trained" to be a difficult child mom for nothing. He should know better. Time for more armor.

As for the nagging feeling, I agree with the rest of them. LISTEN to it. It's the equivalent of your mommy gut. LISTEN!!!
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
I spoke with husband this evening twice. He's in a great deal of pain, and I doubt he is faking it. They finally put him on 3 different things to cope with the pain and his nurse was trying to convince the doctor to increase the doses but for some reason doctor is not really open to the idea, and no he didn't bother to explain why to the nurse. I dunno why the pain is not subsiding as actually it should have by now.....or at least decreased in intensity.

Spoke to his nurse so I could sleep tonight. He's still stable. But currently they're just watching to see how he does on the medications. He'll be getting atavan tonight so hopefully he'll be able to sleep. I'm sure that's not helping matters.

He's still in the cardiac intensive care which sort of suprises me as easy child acted as if she thought he'd be moved to a room in the cardiac care unit this afternoon. Nurse says they're still watching him though.

He's grumpy and complaining and weak. I can barely hear him on the phone. That nagging feeling is still there.......but nothing I'm getting from him or the staff is like giving me a reason for it. So maybe it's my own fears. Who knows.

I'm exhausted and brain is in stress shut down mode which is not helping me a bit. Means I can't remember squat. They did get him signed up for medicaid which is good. They did that this morning.

I'll know more when we go up in the morning, as I plan to drill staff with questions. Before he comes home I want to be certain what I'm dealing with, prognosis for recover, ect ect.

Going to bed soon. Called my mom and gave her the news, and she seemed to think talking to me for two hours would make me feel better. lol I do have to say though, there are things I can talk to her openly about that I just can't with my girls, not because they wouldn't try to understand......but because they are just in very different places in their lives. Stuff mom gets because of her own experience. So I did get to talk some on that stuff which was nice. She was so lost when my step dad died......

That nagging feeling tells me I could still lose him. (like I said could be my own fear and not based in reality) And I can't help but think what on earth would I do if that happens? There are no life insurance policies. While we basically have no income.....his SS and unemployment (if they ever chose to send it again) is currently the ONLY income in this household. So income would drop to zero immediately. I have no clue what to do when a family member passes. I've never handled that part. From setting up a funeral to ......well crud the whole thing.....not a clue. The only thing I wouldn't have to worry about is the house. I made certain we had included in the insurance policy that if one of us died the house would be paid off. And had no problem paying extra for it either. But since we haven't been paid in 2 wks I don't know if husband is behind on the house payment, which includes the insurance payment, or not.......and I don't know it that would affect it. But I think we're actually paying the policy a year ahead, so it shouldn't.

Too many things to think about and none of them I want to think about. But those are things I actually do have to think about.

Then there are the ridiculous thoughts that crop in. When a family member passes, everyone tends to gather at that person's house. Well, I'd be humiliated now if they did. And while I know husband can be a major class A PITA, and trust me living with him has never been easy, and while that gooshy mooshy blind in love with him thing died a long time back and there has been zero romance in this relationship for years...........husband is still my best friend. He's my other half. He's my back up. I'm not ready to lose him yet. I can't imagine hm not here. I put on a brave front for the girls......joking that I wouldn't have to put up with his grumpiness.....but truth is, if I lose him I'm going to fall apart.:crying:

I meant this as an update.....instead I unloaded on you all. I'm worried. And I can't stop the thoughts going a million miles an hour through my brain. Hopefully once I am there tomorrow and talk to staff in person and him again it will make me feel better.
 

tiredmommy

Well-Known Member
You know we love you and your family Lisa... you can always unload on us. I'm glad he's still stable and will continue to offer my prayers. {{{Hugs}}}
 

crazymama30

Active Member
Hugs. I hope all ends well, and hope your nagging feeling is wrong. For now try to sleep, you won't do anyone any good if you cannot function.
 

Steely

Active Member
So many hugs sweetie...........SO MANY.
You know one thing I KNOW from dealing with this, is that when someone in our family is ill our gut instinct and intuition go out the window. I have a HIGH degree of intuition and gut feelings that are almost always dead on - as I know you do - but when it is someone this close - the rules are not the same, at all.
Therefore just know that your gut feeling, is just fear, not intuition. That is all, just fear.
Knowing it is such, allow yourself to focus on him. Just be there for him - that is all. Do not forecast into the future, or feel lead to do things based on "what if" - just be there for him.
I am sending you a thousand hugs and prayer - and even more peace - you WILL get through this without missing a beat. It will all be OK.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Lisa, do NOT go and feel bad for unloading on us!!! OMG, isn't THAT what we are here for? I am so sorry you are so scared. I really, really wish I was still living in Cincy and could drive to your house (hang the stupid mess - it CANNOT be worse than my house and I wouldn't care if it was!) and give you a great big hug.

If you are having that nagging feeling, do NOT let yourself write it off as your own fears. You are just too in tune with your family to do that. You get that feeling hwen something is wrong, not when you are scared/upset. It is what it is, period. As far as applying for medicaid/medicare/whatever, most of what you need will be the recent tax return, the latest couple of months of bank account activity, likely some info on the mortgage. the bank stuff can be gotten online even if husband has to sign a durable power of atty to you to let you go and get it.

PLEASE, get durable medical power of atty and healthcare power of atty/living iwll forms signed the next time you go to the hospital. They give you rights that being a spouse doesn't and you NEED those. I am sure the girls and your mom will help with gas to get to the hospital and food for you while you are ther.

Listen to me RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE GOING TO LET THE GIRLS AND TRAVIS AND YOUR MOTHER HELP YOU WITH WHATEVER THEY CAN AND WANT TO. This is the time that your pride is going to go and get stuffed. There is NO room for pride when the girls' and Travis' Dad is so sick. If you won't let them help you, won't turn to them, you will set them up for lifelong regrets that they couldn't even help you in this time when family needed to really pull together. This is NOT the time for you to dig your feet in over them helping with gas, cash, housecleaning or anything else they can and want to do. PERIOD. I watched my folks go through some of this and saw how it hurt them. Please do not hurt your kids that way. Yes, they are the kids and you are the parent, but you are all one big family unit and they need to know that you will turn to them as adults if it is needed.

The next important thing is YOUR health. This is NOT the time to do a lot of cleaning. You are going to need to spend a fair amt of time at the hospital and it is not going to be easy on you. In fact, even though the nurses are watching him and giving good care, he will fare better if a family member is there to speak to the docs, etc... So that needs to be a priority for you. I know how hard it is when the hospital is an hour or more away. The big hospitals here are all over an hour away, mostly 90 mins away and that is where they send most patients with major problems. It isn't easy but it IS more important for you to be there than for you to clean the house.

If the worst happens and people gather at your home? Give them each a dust rag and put them to work. Or tell the kids that you need them to go and to get the house ready for visitors while you are with husband. Spending time with him now is FAR more important than cleaning or than not borrowing money or taking charity. Get the kids to take you to the hospital or give you a tank or two of gas and spend this time with husband. If any of you has a tape recorder or voice recorder, take that with you and when husband is up to it get him to tell the stories of growing up and of his family into that recorder. This is IMPORTANT. It will be one of the best gifts you will have to share iwth your children and grandchildren and his siblings.

Sleep wehn you can, naps are important for you as stress is going to be super hard on your body with your health issues.

We are all here for you and love you and hope and pray that husband gets better and heals from this.

If possible, when husband is better and more ready to leave the hospital, get the docs to set you up with chantix for him or another stop smoking aid because otherwise it will be a stressor neither of you needs. Chantix does have a program to help those who cannot afford it - if the hospital doesn't know the programs to get you set up for this, let us know and one of us can help you with that info.
 

mstang67chic

Going Green
Yep, unload away. That's what we're here for silly! This is the place to put all of the fears and feelings you don't want to let out in front of the girls or Travis. And if any of them should wander this way to check on you.....well, then she needs to remember that this is YOUR place to get it out. This is where you can say anything you want without worrying family members.

Anyhoo....you do what you have to do, get some sleep and take care of you. We're here whenever you need us.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Lisa, I dont know if you and your husband fuss and feud like Tony and I do but I doubt it would be uncommon. We can really go at it sometimes. Lots of stupid things sometimes and sometimes some really hurtful words are said that can really hurt each others feelings. I cant tell you how many times we have each gotten mad at each other and have gone to bed mad at each other.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I am guessing you remembering the two health scares we had with both of us. Tony had that minor stroke back in May 2007 and then my meningitis episode in the fall of 2008. When Tony had that stroke he really didnt even want to tell me but I was frantic. I couldnt get to him and was ready to steal a car to drive up there. When I finally got to him I pretty much broke down. I was all over the doctors making sure he had every test known to mankind. Problem was they couldnt find a dang blammed reason it happened to him and gave him a wonderful bill of health and told him to take it easy for a couple of weeks till he felt better then he could go back to work! He said he felt able to go back to work in a week and a half and I could have killed him...lol.

Now when I was so sick, from what I have been told, the man was a literal mess. He couldnt do a thing. He cried for several days especially when they had given me the 20% chance of even living through the illness and told them to contact funeral homes. Would he admit this to me? Not a chance...lol.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Lisa -
The others know you better than I do... I'm not sure if this applies to you or not, but -
When it comes to the "cleaning" thing?
You have my permission to do a little cleaning every day if and only if "tidying up" is a stress-reliever for YOU.
I hate cleaning... except when I'm stressed out, at which point it becomes a therapeutic activity. And having someone else - even my own kids - cleaning MY house would be extremely stress-inducing.
The point is NOT to have a clean house - its to do whatever works in keeping YOU in shape to deal with the situation.

When it comes to accepting help... you have given what you can to others as life has gone along. This is your turn to accept some of it back.

Lots of thoughts go your way...
 

skeeter

New Member
One day at a time, one day at a time.
Take care of yourself - let the hospital take care of him now.
I know it's hard, but don't dwell on the "what ifs". If the "what ifs" occur, there is staff at the hospital that is trained to help with all of that. Until that time, don't waste the energy on it.
Take any and all help from where ever it's offered.
One day at a time.....
 
H

HaoZi

Guest
Trust yourself Lisa. Part of that nagging feeling is also from your own experience as a nurse, you know that he needs to do everything possible to prevent a second attack and will likely have to stay on top of him to make him do it. I wish there was some way I could help, hon. Cardiac ICU is a good place for him right now, better than the general cardiac wing because the nurses will be able to keep a better eye on him more often. Preaching to the choir, I know. Part of that might also be because of the kidney complications that they want him in line of sight with consistent and frequent checks.
*hugs* darlin'.
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
Lisa, you do what you need to do. NO ONE will care what your house looks like. If it needs to be cleaned, it can be done another day. Or if you want to do some, do some, but don't overdo it.

Nagging feelings can sometimes mean the worst, but not always. Sometimes it's nagging for some other reason. If they are keeping him in CICU, they have good reason. It might not be what you think - and the doctors don't always tell people what's going on.

I still have a spare bedroom if you want to borrow it, since I'm only about 15 min from the hospital. Whichever one it is.
 

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
{{{Lisa}}} You rely on all of those who consistently rely on you -it's your turn. Care for yourself, care for your H and let everything else go, ask for help if you really need the house cleaned. Big hugs. Be glad that the hospital and doctors are being cautious.
 

Mattsmom277

Active Member
I'm with everyone else on the house issue (its a good way to focus attention elsewhere from your husband "IF" it helps de-stress you, otherwise? Non-issue!!). He sounds in good hands with the staff at his hospital and that has to be some peace of mind. Please don't forget that you can use that nurse stiff upper lip approach when it is serving its need for you in the moment and what a gift it is that you have that background in tough moments I'm sure! But unloading on those who care, letting it out, dropping the composure to have normal emotions about your best friend and life partner is going to happen at times and I'm glad you came here to get some of that out. Again I'm with everyone else on that, we're all here for you!
 
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