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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Need some advice on continued coping with enablers.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 376477" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Your difficult child is 19. She is upsetting everyone in your home. If you go and read your posts for the last few months you will see a real trend and not a great one.</p><p> </p><p>If your daughter is able to borrow drugs or $100 she is able to find someone to allow her to crash on their couch.</p><p> </p><p>You cannot control your mother or father.</p><p> </p><p>Al Anon should be as essential as food and breathing for you, just as seeing a doctor for some help for your depression is essential if things will change.</p><p> </p><p>Have you stopped to take a long, hard, eyes - wide - open look at your other children and how all of this, including how YOU feel, is affecting them and their futures??</p><p> </p><p>Is allowing a drug using, abusive 19 yo to live in your home something a responsible parent of 4 underage children should do? </p><p> </p><p>Her behaviors are being seen by every single member of the home. Not one child misses what she is doing. Nothing is being hidden effectively - kids are just nosy and aware of things. </p><p> </p><p>Is allowing a person who potentially has someone "after her" with a GUN to live in the home of these other great people a sane thing to do?</p><p> </p><p>You have to think about this and answer it to yourself. I cannot make the choice for you, no one can.</p><p> </p><p>You also MUST remember that EVERY issue is a problem for EVERY member of the family. Decisions about difficult child have to be considered in the light of all of the children's and parent's best interests. </p><p> </p><p>It is so dang hard, having to think/worry about all this just plain hoovers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 376477, member: 1233"] Your difficult child is 19. She is upsetting everyone in your home. If you go and read your posts for the last few months you will see a real trend and not a great one. If your daughter is able to borrow drugs or $100 she is able to find someone to allow her to crash on their couch. You cannot control your mother or father. Al Anon should be as essential as food and breathing for you, just as seeing a doctor for some help for your depression is essential if things will change. Have you stopped to take a long, hard, eyes - wide - open look at your other children and how all of this, including how YOU feel, is affecting them and their futures?? Is allowing a drug using, abusive 19 yo to live in your home something a responsible parent of 4 underage children should do? Her behaviors are being seen by every single member of the home. Not one child misses what she is doing. Nothing is being hidden effectively - kids are just nosy and aware of things. Is allowing a person who potentially has someone "after her" with a GUN to live in the home of these other great people a sane thing to do? You have to think about this and answer it to yourself. I cannot make the choice for you, no one can. You also MUST remember that EVERY issue is a problem for EVERY member of the family. Decisions about difficult child have to be considered in the light of all of the children's and parent's best interests. It is so dang hard, having to think/worry about all this just plain hoovers. [/QUOTE]
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Need some advice on continued coping with enablers.
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