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Need some help on what kind of advice to give
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 113675" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>MM- I hope you don't mind me responding since my difficult child is 12 so I've obviously not been there done that. I read this and felt like I could relate to your daughter. Wierd huh? So this might or might not help-</p><p></p><p>It's good you tell her how proud you are of her- she probably needs to hear that real often right now. I think it would be good to offer to let her live or spend a long visit with you, even if she doesn't do it. (I wouldn't recommend pressuring her.) As far as boyfriend, it sounds like it would be great if you two could have a nice lunch and just let her talk, then help her sort through options- stay with him, can they talk but just be friends, break up, or just take a break from each other. I doubt that she's really looking for advice- maybe an opinion that she kinda wants and kinda doesn't want so I'd tread lightly not to really offer an opinion, but try to help her decipher what she wants- or just talk and be there. My guess is that she felt a lot more confident when on drugs- that part of why she did them. It takes a long time to feel that inner strength without them- so don't be shocked or disappointed if she just wants "Mom's shoulder" to cry on and show an insecure side. She's coming to you because it's safe, in my humble opinion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 113675, member: 3699"] MM- I hope you don't mind me responding since my difficult child is 12 so I've obviously not been there done that. I read this and felt like I could relate to your daughter. Wierd huh? So this might or might not help- It's good you tell her how proud you are of her- she probably needs to hear that real often right now. I think it would be good to offer to let her live or spend a long visit with you, even if she doesn't do it. (I wouldn't recommend pressuring her.) As far as boyfriend, it sounds like it would be great if you two could have a nice lunch and just let her talk, then help her sort through options- stay with him, can they talk but just be friends, break up, or just take a break from each other. I doubt that she's really looking for advice- maybe an opinion that she kinda wants and kinda doesn't want so I'd tread lightly not to really offer an opinion, but try to help her decipher what she wants- or just talk and be there. My guess is that she felt a lot more confident when on drugs- that part of why she did them. It takes a long time to feel that inner strength without them- so don't be shocked or disappointed if she just wants "Mom's shoulder" to cry on and show an insecure side. She's coming to you because it's safe, in my humble opinion. [/QUOTE]
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