Need some opinions - Preggo Ques!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Jul 21, 2008.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! I'm now officially in my 12th week. Thus far everything looks good (still super tired and queezy - but that could be the heat/humidity). My OB wants me to go to a high risk doctor because of the type 1 diabetes (I did this through all of my other kids, so it's no surprise) and now my "age".

    When I called for the appointment. for the 1st trimester sono and consult with the diabetes nurse, the appts. desk asked "did the OB want a nuchal translucency screening". I said no he just wants the consult and sonogram. She wouldn't schedule it until I called the OB and asked. His office checked and he said "why not?".

    Well, I scheduled it, now I have to go, do this test, followed by "genetic counseling" and follow up blood work. After I scheduled it, I hopped on the web to check out what it was and it's basically a "prescreening for downs syndrome and other genetic issues" that could arise. It's a new test, they had to invest in a lot of training and equipment and seemed like they just wanted a chance to play with their new toy.

    Now (finally! lol) onto my question to you (my family!). husband and I are of the school of thought that no matter what happens, it's a baby. 10 fingers, 10 toes, 3 eyes, doesn't matter, it's a baby, it's ours and we'll love it just the same. No matter what the test results would be, we wouldn't abort. It's ours. Plain and simple.

    I'm not sure that I should take the test, considering that it'll just make the remainder of the pregnancy so stressful (which wickedly effects the diabetes) that even if it was a false positive, the baby could be adversely affected.

    You're opinion/insights would be greatly appreciated!

    Deeply hating new technology right now,

    Beth
     
  2. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Because I was over 35 with both my kids when they were born, I was offered the amnio thing with the needle in the belly. With this one there is always a risk of losing the baby, so I just said no. One no one thought about it until I was almost 20 weeks which "would be too late to do anything about it anyway" which I wouldn't have done anyway, so I just said no.

    If there is no risk to the baby, I may say yes to the new test. Even keeping along with the pregnancy, I think it would be good to know about Downs etc. in advance so that you can read up and be prepared for when the baby comes. But only if there's no risk to the baby and the pregnancy. It took us 11 years of trying (which included going to fertility doctor and all that entails) to have difficult child and then 7 years to have easy child, so I wouldn't do anything to risk losing them.
     
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Keep in mind this is coming from someone who has never been preggers and probably never will be so take it with a grain of salt.

    Now....if you're worried about the test itself (invasive....whatever) I would discuss it more with the doctor. Find out risks, statistics, etc. and then make your decision.

    If it's the results themselves.....is there any way that they can do the test but ONLY tell you if there is something very serious (i.e. life threatening) going on? But....then again, if you don't really care about the results then why take it in the first place? But there is that whole life threatening thing.

    Hmm....not much help here am I?
     
  4. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    I remember my husband and I feeling the same way too when I was pregnant with our first. At that time they weren't so advanced and I think the screening was for blood work looking for neuro tube defects. I told my doctor not to bother with the test as I would have our child no matter what. He said that was fine, but to go ahead and have the blood work so that we would know ahead of time if there were problems that needed to be prepared for. I hadn't thought of that, but it is food for thought. Maybe you should just go ahead, do the testing and give your baby the best start possible if there is a problem. Fingers crossed for you!
     
  5. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am with you - a baby is a baby!

    That said, would anything found help the doctors with immediate after labor care if something was found? Special needs to be prepared for? If so, you can always have the tests run and the results withheld from you. Let the doctor know that NOTHING will change your mind about having this child and you are only doing the tests for the doctors and nurses to be prepared IF needed. You do not want to know at this point if anything is wrong. Though it may be hard for all medical staff to READ the instructions not to share certain info with you?
     
  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Gosh, Beth...I don't know. Bowing to the Gods, I haven't been preggo in a LONG time. ;)

    I do know my friend is in her 40's and preggo and has undergone every imaginable expensive test. Maybe it just the way they do things these days.

    Abbey
     
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    That's a tough one...I think though that I would have the test done. How stressed will you be if you don't have the test? Will you be worrying whether or not the baby's "normal"? I would be more worried about the unknowns; once I have some info I can do some research and learn more about the subject.

    Anyway, just my opinion. Sending many prayers and hugs.
     
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    It's not invasive. You are going to worry about this baby anyway, it might be valuable in knowing that there is nothing to worry about. However, you should check with your insurance to make sure they will even cover the cost of this.
     
  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Based on your personal views about how you would handle any news that the fetus might have an abnormality, I suggest you skip the testing. And any structural defects that could be corrected by surgery after birth would likely show up on the standard ultrasound I'm guessing.
     
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Beth, I don't know if I would have the test either if I were you. If you have decided that you would have this baby no matter what, then the only benefit to you would be knowing in advance if there were going to be a problem and being able to prepare yourself, if that's possible. Things weren't so advanced when I had my kids, but I was almost 35 when my son was born and I asked my doctor if they planned to do an amnio - he said no, unless I really wanted it. He knew that I would have chosen to continue the pregnancy no matter what, so he didn't even ask.

    One thing I have noticed with different family members having babies now is that they tend to scare people half to death with all this "technology" and go overboard in their warnings to avoid potential lawsuits. The daughter of one of my cousins didn't marry until her early 30's and had her first child at 35. In her first few months they lectured her so much about the risk of Down syndrome that she came to fear that they believed for some reason that her child actually had it! She was a nervous wreck! Turns out that they gave everybody her age that exact same lecture! Standard procedure, to lessen the risk of lawsuits. And when she was a few months further along they did some other kind of test on her but I'm not sure what it was now. She was told that the baby she was carrying had some horrible brain deformity - part of the brain was missing, just not there! She was told that her child would never lead a normal life, if she were even born alive, she would never progress beyond the mental age of an infant, would only live a few years at most. She was encouraged to think about abortion. They were absolutely devestated! Being a very devout Catholic she would never have consider abortion no matter what, but many people would have if they were told what she was.

    Long story short, the doctors were WRONG! She gave birth to a fat, healthy, perfectly normal baby girl ... a little girl who is so beautiful that everyone says she looks like Elizabeth Taylor did as a child, a little girl who has inherited the intelligence of her father who is a member of Mensa! Of course, they were overjoyed, but for months they were put through a living hell by doctors who made a mistake and could only say "whoops"! Seems like a lot of this new technology only serves as "practice" and "experiments" for the doctors and ends up alarming people unnecessarily.
     
  11. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Even given your moral stand, I would want to know. It will help you to make decisions about healthcare that can help your child at the earliest possible moment, instead of the waiting and wondering that many people go through way beyond the time therapy or medications could have been started and lessened a child's suffering.
     
  12. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    If the results won't influence your decision one way or another for treatment or intervention then I would probably not bother. Personally with the advances in technology there are treatments that can be done before delivery or immediately after delivery. I would want to know and be prepared.
     
  13. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I would have the test and ask for the results. Not to even consider an abortion but to make sure everything humanly possible was in place should there be any negative results. But, this is me. I've never been pregnant but I am one of those who wants to know any and every contingency and make plans accordingly.

    Ultimately, you have to do what is best for you. If you feel a negative result would cause too much stress, don't do it.
     
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    OMG (snort) you are asking ME to be the voice of reason for my niece? Oooooooooooops weren't supposed to tell you that.

    Ack......well here's my thoughts (kisses baby then speaks)

    She is here. IF she were to be a Down's kid - you're blessed.

    When I got pregnant with Dude I was 24ish. For whatever reason they did this test on me and Dude. I think still it was to see that he wasn't hideously deformed because I told EVERYONE DF did major drugs. Now I would guess they thought I did too despite blood tests etc. But in any event I went for the test.

    When I got there they explained to me what it was and what they would do IF the baby were abnormal. (thank GOD their definition of abnormal wasn't difficult child - or Dude would have never been here)

    I sat there and thought - and what IF the baby is Downs, or retarded or deformed? Would I really - follow through with abortion? And here is the totally stunning part of all of my pregnancy to which X was a donor and nothing more. Never went to an appointment., made me WAIT on the way to the hospital so he could get coffee, use the bathroom - idiot. So he decides that he NEEDS to go to this appointment. And did.

    While they are explaining to me what they will do if they find abnormalities or deformaties - x is sitting there NODDING as if. And I remember saying "WHAT are you nodding about?" and he says "Well if it's deformed or retarded or a water head or something I don't want it and abortion is right to get rid of it before it suffers." And MATERNAL instincts kicked in and I got up - walked out, told them there will be NO test and left.

    I didnt consult with x after that - when he brought it up I said "THIS baby or babies will be what they are and will be loved." PERIOD.

    Ended up I did not have twins - one of my babies was NOT dead, the father does NOT contribute to the destruction of a fetus no matter how much dope and booze he's had.....and Dude was born 2 weeks early as a birthday present for me....healthy and mad that someone bothered his nap and come to think of it he's been the same way ever since.

    If it is a test....that could STOP an abnormality or correct a defect before the baby is born? Why not do it if there are no risks.

    If it is a test.....the could STOP an abnormal baby from being born and wouldn't correct anything? Why bother?

    If it is a test.....that would give you peace of mind because you are having a baby at 40ish - I think that peace of mind contributes to the general make up of your baby - so I'd be for that.

    I think however the most incredible story I have ever read about a baby that they did tests on like you're talking about to a Mother that was in her 20's - was the baby born without a face. Google it - it's the most incredible testament to we'll love whatever we're given in the world. Their little girl literally has no face - and on the interview you see the mom holding up the child in a mirror telling her how beautiful she is.....and she really is.

    I think it's either this logic or go get a Magic 8 ball and shake really hard.

    ;)
     
  15. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Beth,

    First off, I am of the same mind as you in terms of if a potential "diagnosis" was picked up on screening. Things turn out how they're supposed to, even if we don't always get it.

    I had the blood test that was supposed to pick up twins and Downs' syndrome back in the dark ages. Everything was "normal". When I got kidney stones at 21 weeks and was found to be in pre-term labor, the ultrasound tech thought he'd take a peek at my baby while he was checking out the kidneys. Imagine the shock when he said there were 2 babies! ;) So... I'm not a huge believer in absolute accuracy of testing.

    on the other hand, they are doing some amazing things now with kiddos who have neural tube defects (i.e. in-utero surgery to close the defect prior to birth). I have to admit, if I had the ability to "fix" a problem and possibly prevent a physical disability, I would go for it. While that kind of flies in the face of "things turn out how they're supposed to", somehow ... it makes sense to me, I guess because maybe *because* of how things turned out with Boo, even though his situation wasn't preventable at the time.

    Since the NT is noninvasive, I'd do it. At the very least, it would give you and the doctor the opportunity to prepare if there is the possibility of a problem, rather than having all heck break lose at delivery, you know?

    But if the stress of knowing there might be a problem (again, I really took pregnancy related tests with a grain of salt after the twins) is going to cause greater harm... I think it's perfectly reasonable not to do it, too.

    How's that for an on-the-fence answer? I guess, as with all things related to motherhood, my strongest vote would be to follow your heart. You will make the right choice for you and the wee one.
     
  16. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Beth,

    you have to do what feels right for you.

    Part of me would say the same as you - I wouldn't abort my baby so what difference does the test make? The other part of me says that being prepared (whether it be emotionally, preparing my other children, or making sure that medical staff are on stand by at the delivery) is a good thing. Nice and wishy-washy huh?

    I must share with you that my brother and his wife had this test done. They thought they were going to have a down baby. They did not have the the amnio done though. That was the second test offered them but since it was invasive and posed some risk, they opted not to have it.

    My neice was, appropriately, born three weeks early on April first and totally healthy 11 years ago! She was their April Fool's baby. She fooled them all.

    You just never know......

    God bless.

    Sharon
     
  17. susiequte

    susiequte New Member

    I just had my first child in January. I am 45 as of last week. I went to the high risk doctor. I'm also a Labor and Delivery nurse. The nuchal translucency test is simply done with the ultrasound and it's simply a measurement. There is an indication that a thicker measurment may indicate down's syndrome. But it also may not. I had the nuchal trans test with my first US at 14 weeks ( I think). it was fine. I had blood drawn to check certain things that may indicate likelihood to deliver early, have a baby with neural tube defects, etc. Then I met with the genetic counselor. Based on all these tests, my risk of a baby with down's was given to me as 1 in about 2600, spina bifida 1 in 3600, etc. I chose NOT to have an amnio, based on these numbers. I wouldn't have aborted anyway. I just wanted to be basically prepared just in case. I delivered a healthy baby who is almost 6 months old now. He is fat and happy and spitting carrots all over me!!!! It's really your choice. Do what your concience tells you. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions I can help you with. Good luck!!!

    Susiequte
     
  18. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    With easy child, I did all the suggested tests and was miserable from them. I found them invasive (just having to go and be prodded and have strangers looking at me and touching me felt invasive to me), but I trusted my then OB so I went along with everything.

    With difficult child, I had a midwife and planned on having her at home so although the tests were offered (not suggested), I declined all of them. I figured if abortion was not a consideration, why stress over it. I had a very pleasant pregnancy with difficult child and was very healthy and the initial blood work came back fine so all I needed was that gestational diabetes test at 5 months and that came back fine too. I never had an ultrasound or anything. Of course, all my plans went out the window when in the 8th month difficult child turned breach and my midwife wouldn't deliver at home. difficult child ended up being a c-section in our teaching hospital! So much for non-invasive!

    Go with your gut - if you don't feel its necessary, then don't have the test.

    And from another standpoint...think about the money & energy saved by not having the test. I think you're right about this being the 'new toy'.
     
  19. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    Our ob gyne is a hi risk one...
    easy child was only gently offered many tests....doctor mostly said no need if you are not inclined to take action pending results.
    BUT we got a bill already for the first prenatal visit, and YIKEs.....it was several thousands of dollars of all kinds of tests I had never heard of, all via blood.....and excluding any "specialized" tests. Also no genetic testing as easy child had some genetic testing and we had family genetic counseling at Shriners a few years ago.
    I was a little taken aback by this bill for first prenatal visit, becuz it does not yet include the um, charge for the prenatal care and delivery at all.....
    easy child also had a special sonagram, due to her illness...so it was much more expensive than typical sonogram, as well, but it is still so early, I am not at all sure how much would be apparent yet. (she was 8 weeks for sonogram, she is now 9 weeks preg)
    My youngest is 13 and it amazes me how much is so very different already.

    Personally with my pregs, I wanted to know as little as possible in advance. But thats just "me" I think I was afraid if there was "bad"news, it might make the preg more difficult and labor and delivery more difficult. And I guess I was just trusting if there was any urgent needs at time of delivery, it would be handled?

    I guess I think this is just a very personal thing for each couple to decide for themself. I am sending you good luck and best wishes.
     
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would want to know even if abortion was not an option. My theory would be that I would want to be sure medical staff could be prepared at the time of delivery or that I would want to know that I could deliver early or need a c section. I tend to handle things better if I can prepare myself.
     
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