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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 489619"><p>Hi again Arb-I find strength in these 10 commandments. I know your daughter isn't quite an adult-but thought I'd share;</p><p></p><p>Parents "Ten Commandments" for Breaking the Enabling Cycle</p><p></p><p>If you're enabling your adult child, Allison Bottke's "ten commandments" could help you break that negative pattern.</p><p></p><p>1. You shall take care of your own spiritual, mental, physical, emotional and financial health.</p><p>2. You shall remember to express love and attention to your spouse and other family members and friends in addition to your troubled adult child.</p><p>3. You shall not accept excuses.</p><p>4. You shall understand that a clear definition of right and wrong is imperative for a disciplined society. There is no room for gray. Don't make excuses for what you believe.</p><p>5. You shall make fact-based judgments without excuse, and feel okay doing so.</p><p>6. You shall uphold standards of behavior that protect your morals, values and integrity.</p><p>7. You shall give your adult child unconditional love and support without meddling and without money.</p><p>8. You shall listen to music and read books that will focus your mind on your HP.</p><p>9. You shall celebrate life and love as often as possible, even in times of trouble.</p><p>10. You shall consistently practice the six steps to SANITY:</p><p></p><p>S = Stop enabling, stop blaming yourself, and stop the flow of money</p><p>A = Assemble a support group</p><p>N = Nip excuses in the bud</p><p>I = Implement boundaries</p><p>T = Trust your instincts</p><p>Y = Yield everything to God.</p><p></p><p>Adapted from Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Child Study Guide. Copyright © 2008 by Allison Bottke.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 489619"] Hi again Arb-I find strength in these 10 commandments. I know your daughter isn't quite an adult-but thought I'd share; Parents "Ten Commandments" for Breaking the Enabling Cycle If you're enabling your adult child, Allison Bottke's "ten commandments" could help you break that negative pattern. 1. You shall take care of your own spiritual, mental, physical, emotional and financial health. 2. You shall remember to express love and attention to your spouse and other family members and friends in addition to your troubled adult child. 3. You shall not accept excuses. 4. You shall understand that a clear definition of right and wrong is imperative for a disciplined society. There is no room for gray. Don't make excuses for what you believe. 5. You shall make fact-based judgments without excuse, and feel okay doing so. 6. You shall uphold standards of behavior that protect your morals, values and integrity. 7. You shall give your adult child unconditional love and support without meddling and without money. 8. You shall listen to music and read books that will focus your mind on your HP. 9. You shall celebrate life and love as often as possible, even in times of trouble. 10. You shall consistently practice the six steps to SANITY: S = Stop enabling, stop blaming yourself, and stop the flow of money A = Assemble a support group N = Nip excuses in the bud I = Implement boundaries T = Trust your instincts Y = Yield everything to God. Adapted from Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Child Study Guide. Copyright © 2008 by Allison Bottke. [/QUOTE]
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