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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 489679"><p>Arb,</p><p></p><p>I have definitely been there and definitely know those feelings of being lost and sad.... it is just plain heartbreaking to go through this and to have your daughter stealing from you like that. So I would definitely suspect drug use.... her going to that extent to steal money and that much definitely is a huge red flag for drug use. The other changes in her behavior are probably related to drug use as well.</p><p></p><p>I think people who have not been there often do not understand how you as a parent could think of turning her in or bringing charges (I am thinking of the bank person). I mean we as parents want to protect our kids from harm and that often leads us to protecting them from the legal system. </p><p></p><p>However at this point given her behavior the best thing you can do is have her face some consequences now while she is still young and the court system is more forgiving. I don't know where you live but at least here (and I suspect most places) the courts lean towards trying to get a kid help vs just locking them up... that becomes less and less true as people get older and more charges against them. So I highly doubt she would do jail time and you as the victim would have some input in what you wanted to see happen. So hopefully facing some charges would scare her enough to look at what she is doing....and she also needs to get the message that you won't put up with being misused and abused by her.</p><p></p><p>I have not had to bring charges against my son but he himself has been arrested several times and he is only 20. I did have to kick him out of the house when he was 18 and i did end up going to the police to help me with that. As worrisome as him having a record (including a felony) is, the threat of jail (and he spent 2 weeks in jail at one point so now knows what jail is like) is something that has helped him seek help.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is young and is out of control and I think at this point, you by yourself are powerless to stop it. That is a fallacy that many people have, that somehow as parents we can control what our late teenage or young adult children do. We can't.... and it is where they systems need to get invovled to help. The court system, as imperfect as it is, is one of those systems.</p><p></p><p>Hugs... and I agree come over to PE.... there are several of us who have been in your shoes, or who are still in your shoes.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 489679"] Arb, I have definitely been there and definitely know those feelings of being lost and sad.... it is just plain heartbreaking to go through this and to have your daughter stealing from you like that. So I would definitely suspect drug use.... her going to that extent to steal money and that much definitely is a huge red flag for drug use. The other changes in her behavior are probably related to drug use as well. I think people who have not been there often do not understand how you as a parent could think of turning her in or bringing charges (I am thinking of the bank person). I mean we as parents want to protect our kids from harm and that often leads us to protecting them from the legal system. However at this point given her behavior the best thing you can do is have her face some consequences now while she is still young and the court system is more forgiving. I don't know where you live but at least here (and I suspect most places) the courts lean towards trying to get a kid help vs just locking them up... that becomes less and less true as people get older and more charges against them. So I highly doubt she would do jail time and you as the victim would have some input in what you wanted to see happen. So hopefully facing some charges would scare her enough to look at what she is doing....and she also needs to get the message that you won't put up with being misused and abused by her. I have not had to bring charges against my son but he himself has been arrested several times and he is only 20. I did have to kick him out of the house when he was 18 and i did end up going to the police to help me with that. As worrisome as him having a record (including a felony) is, the threat of jail (and he spent 2 weeks in jail at one point so now knows what jail is like) is something that has helped him seek help. Your daughter is young and is out of control and I think at this point, you by yourself are powerless to stop it. That is a fallacy that many people have, that somehow as parents we can control what our late teenage or young adult children do. We can't.... and it is where they systems need to get invovled to help. The court system, as imperfect as it is, is one of those systems. Hugs... and I agree come over to PE.... there are several of us who have been in your shoes, or who are still in your shoes. TL [/QUOTE]
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