My oldest kid is 18, dropped out of community college mid way through her first semester, agreed to take antidepressants then just went off cold turkey, binge drinks when she is able to get her hands on alcohol, and is still smoking weed as far as I know. She lives with her dad but her presence in his home is problematic for difficult child 2, who just came home from rehab and needs to be in a "clean" environment. She only works 10 hours a week (had her hours cut in half after Christmas). That's right, lives for free with-dad, earns only $80/week before taxes, never has money on her for lunch or busfare, doesn't have her driver's license yet (too freaked out to retake test that she failed a year ago)....and since she has taken herself off her medications she has been explosive and abusive with her younger sister, who lives with me. To help my son, while he is still at dad's home (and there is a good possibility that he will be going to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) soon, it was recommended by the diagnostic detox program he just completed), I feel I should have my oldest at home with me. She has no place else to go. However, that presents a problem for my 12 year old, because difficult child 1 slapped her across the face last week during an argument at dad's home and that's unacceptable while I sort this out (I may have to approach DCF and ask if they have some type of group home my oldest could go to since she is a risk factor for both her sibs), I need some help to not enable her. Besides being a doormat to her, sibs and exDH, I have had problems setting limits with her because her emotional illness (major depressive disorder and PMD) made me worry about pushing her too hard. Now I've got a young adult who takes no responsiblity for herself, can't handle discomfort at all, and has no motivation to do anything. Should I try Al-Anon, even though her binge drinking isn't that often (maybe once a month?), or Nar-Anon, because I suspect she is still smoking pot but again, not every day (she doesn't have enough money to smoke more often)? It's the enabling part I need to address, not so much the form of her substance abuse. What have you folks tried that has helped you? I don't want my daughter or the rest of the family to continue to suffer because I'm not setting boundaries. Thanks.