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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 171518" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Stands</p><p> </p><p>You're not alone in this. And no, you're not crazy. </p><p> </p><p>First of all, even parents with excellent parenting skills, resources, and a wealth of both general and medical knowledge have difficult children. A fact of life. And you can bet your bottom dollar that even those parents wonder if their was something they did or didn't do right. It's natural. A good parent wonders those things. And good parents tend to blame themselves even when they aren't at fault.</p><p> </p><p>There were so many stupid mistakes I made with Travis, despite the medical knowledge I had. I could carry around a mountain of guilt about him if I let myself. But I don't. I did the best I could at the time, right or wrong. </p><p> </p><p>Then with Nichole, her brothers issues were always so huge that hers really weren't noticed or addressed until it was horribly serious. No she wasn't completely ignored or anything, but I was blind to how bad she'd plunged until it was shoved in my face due to the fact that I was always working so hard to get Travis what he needed.</p><p> </p><p>Since she too has a personality disorder I've wondered if I contributed some way. How I don't know. As I parented her the same as her sibs, and they don't have personality disorders. </p><p> </p><p>It's natural to wonder or even to feel guilt. But it isn't fair to beat ourselves up over it, either. Hind sight is 20 / 20. As long as we do the best we can, no one can ask more of us. We're only human, afterall.</p><p> </p><p>I'm not a perfect parent. My kids won't be perfect parents. There is no such thing as a perfect parent.</p><p> </p><p>As for the anxiety.........I've had it as long as I can remember to varying degrees. Nichole always has too. I've never found a "magic pill" for it. But I have learned ways to cope with it and live with it, as Nichole is doing.</p><p> </p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 171518, member: 84"] Stands You're not alone in this. And no, you're not crazy. First of all, even parents with excellent parenting skills, resources, and a wealth of both general and medical knowledge have difficult children. A fact of life. And you can bet your bottom dollar that even those parents wonder if their was something they did or didn't do right. It's natural. A good parent wonders those things. And good parents tend to blame themselves even when they aren't at fault. There were so many stupid mistakes I made with Travis, despite the medical knowledge I had. I could carry around a mountain of guilt about him if I let myself. But I don't. I did the best I could at the time, right or wrong. Then with Nichole, her brothers issues were always so huge that hers really weren't noticed or addressed until it was horribly serious. No she wasn't completely ignored or anything, but I was blind to how bad she'd plunged until it was shoved in my face due to the fact that I was always working so hard to get Travis what he needed. Since she too has a personality disorder I've wondered if I contributed some way. How I don't know. As I parented her the same as her sibs, and they don't have personality disorders. It's natural to wonder or even to feel guilt. But it isn't fair to beat ourselves up over it, either. Hind sight is 20 / 20. As long as we do the best we can, no one can ask more of us. We're only human, afterall. I'm not a perfect parent. My kids won't be perfect parents. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. As for the anxiety.........I've had it as long as I can remember to varying degrees. Nichole always has too. I've never found a "magic pill" for it. But I have learned ways to cope with it and live with it, as Nichole is doing. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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