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Need to do somthing fast--don't know what
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 275976" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>A lot of good advice here and I'm sure a lot for you to think about. </p><p></p><p>The idea of sending him to India.....for me I think that would depend on a few things. Your family there, could they handle him and do it in a manner that is acceptable to you and your wife? Also, unfortunately drugs are everywhere. Are you sure that you wouldn't be sending him to a place with just as easy access to his high of choice or even bigger and "better" ones?</p><p></p><p>As for the violence and your wife's reluctance to call the police, I can understand her feelings. BUT....would she hesitate to call the police if it wasn't your son? NO ONE has the right to physically assault anyone no matter if it is your son (who, at 17, I would imagine is adult size), your neighbor or a stranger off the street. Yes, getting him involved in the court system may not the the ideal thing but it can also open up various doors for treatment and diagnosis. Additionally as someone else mentioned, this is not a good example for other kids in the household. You're basically telling them that they can do what they want, knock Dad around and no one is going to do anything of any real consequence. </p><p></p><p>For you and your wife to accomplish anything, you must show a united front. Behind closed doors you can second guess yourself as much as you want but when you make a decision, you MUST stick to it. Otherwise, your son will just continue to think it is ok for him to do whatever he wants because nothing is going to happen to him.</p><p></p><p>Marg is right. ODD is rarely if ever a stand alone diagnosis. Normally when you get a diagnosis of just that, its becasue the people who decided that either didn't take the time or have the knowledge to dig deeper.</p><p></p><p>If you haven't already, take a look around this site. There are many others here with similar issues and many posts about it. Look around, see what others have done, what others have said and discuss it with your wife. I hope we can be of some help or at the very least, a good place for you to vent. Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 275976, member: 2459"] A lot of good advice here and I'm sure a lot for you to think about. The idea of sending him to India.....for me I think that would depend on a few things. Your family there, could they handle him and do it in a manner that is acceptable to you and your wife? Also, unfortunately drugs are everywhere. Are you sure that you wouldn't be sending him to a place with just as easy access to his high of choice or even bigger and "better" ones? As for the violence and your wife's reluctance to call the police, I can understand her feelings. BUT....would she hesitate to call the police if it wasn't your son? NO ONE has the right to physically assault anyone no matter if it is your son (who, at 17, I would imagine is adult size), your neighbor or a stranger off the street. Yes, getting him involved in the court system may not the the ideal thing but it can also open up various doors for treatment and diagnosis. Additionally as someone else mentioned, this is not a good example for other kids in the household. You're basically telling them that they can do what they want, knock Dad around and no one is going to do anything of any real consequence. For you and your wife to accomplish anything, you must show a united front. Behind closed doors you can second guess yourself as much as you want but when you make a decision, you MUST stick to it. Otherwise, your son will just continue to think it is ok for him to do whatever he wants because nothing is going to happen to him. Marg is right. ODD is rarely if ever a stand alone diagnosis. Normally when you get a diagnosis of just that, its becasue the people who decided that either didn't take the time or have the knowledge to dig deeper. If you haven't already, take a look around this site. There are many others here with similar issues and many posts about it. Look around, see what others have done, what others have said and discuss it with your wife. I hope we can be of some help or at the very least, a good place for you to vent. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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