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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 628139" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>You're in a terrible place TE, my heart goes out to you. Even if you have him arrested, which his certainly your choice, it will be a temporary solution to a permanent problem which he himself must address. However, there are no right or wrong answers TE, you have to make whatever choices you need to.</p><p></p><p>One of the things I had to look at squarely, is that our kids make choices which place them directly in the path of danger, their lifestyle choices can be harmful and it is not beyond reason that death is one of the outcomes to the choices they make. I remember having to take that information in to my heart, to realize that there is nothing I can do to stop that, that I am powerless to change any outcome at all........that the only person who can change that is my daughter or your son. That is a difficult thing for us parents to address and yet we are forced in to it often.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps before you make any choice at all, try to take a step back, take some very deep breaths, we breath in a shallow fashion when we are scared and that sets in motion more anxiety and fear. Breathe. Breathe deeply. If you can get yourself to an FA meeting or call a sponsor or someone well versed in this drama so they can help to calm you, would be helpful. Write down all your fears, everything you believe may happen. Take a walk, if you walk for only 11 minutes, it will shift your brain chemistry and offer you some relief. Do something right now other then ruminating about your son. Take some action. </p><p></p><p>When we are in fear a lot, we actually create a new neuro-pathway which when we are afraid, we dive onto that pathway and stay stuck there. What can change that is interrupting the fear thoughts with different information, support, breath, exercise, meditation, yoga, something that has the ability to calm you down. Once you get through the fear, you are more able to make better choices based on logic and reality. Fear based decisions rarely work out well. Right now you are stuck in fear and attempting to control what happens to your son. Do whatever you can, right now, to move out of that fear. Repeat the serenity prayer. Pray. Place your son in the hands of your perception of a Higher Power.</p><p></p><p>Sending you prayers and warm wishes for you to find peace.............for you to feel comforted, for you to rest........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 628139, member: 13542"] You're in a terrible place TE, my heart goes out to you. Even if you have him arrested, which his certainly your choice, it will be a temporary solution to a permanent problem which he himself must address. However, there are no right or wrong answers TE, you have to make whatever choices you need to. One of the things I had to look at squarely, is that our kids make choices which place them directly in the path of danger, their lifestyle choices can be harmful and it is not beyond reason that death is one of the outcomes to the choices they make. I remember having to take that information in to my heart, to realize that there is nothing I can do to stop that, that I am powerless to change any outcome at all........that the only person who can change that is my daughter or your son. That is a difficult thing for us parents to address and yet we are forced in to it often. Perhaps before you make any choice at all, try to take a step back, take some very deep breaths, we breath in a shallow fashion when we are scared and that sets in motion more anxiety and fear. Breathe. Breathe deeply. If you can get yourself to an FA meeting or call a sponsor or someone well versed in this drama so they can help to calm you, would be helpful. Write down all your fears, everything you believe may happen. Take a walk, if you walk for only 11 minutes, it will shift your brain chemistry and offer you some relief. Do something right now other then ruminating about your son. Take some action. When we are in fear a lot, we actually create a new neuro-pathway which when we are afraid, we dive onto that pathway and stay stuck there. What can change that is interrupting the fear thoughts with different information, support, breath, exercise, meditation, yoga, something that has the ability to calm you down. Once you get through the fear, you are more able to make better choices based on logic and reality. Fear based decisions rarely work out well. Right now you are stuck in fear and attempting to control what happens to your son. Do whatever you can, right now, to move out of that fear. Repeat the serenity prayer. Pray. Place your son in the hands of your perception of a Higher Power. Sending you prayers and warm wishes for you to find peace.............for you to feel comforted, for you to rest........ [/QUOTE]
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