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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 628145" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>TE, you are not alone in this. We have and do feel this way, too. In the past few months, one day, I posted that I was out driving and I wanted to go look for my son. It was a Sunday morning. I usually go to Al-Anon on Sunday morning but when I got in the car to go there, I started obsessing about my son and wondering if he was at the breakfast in the park that a church here gives on Sunday mornings for homeless people. I had not heard from him in several days, and I just wanted to bad to know he was still alive. </p><p></p><p>TE, it was like my car was almost forcing me to drive to that park. I wanted to go there so bad. So bad. But I didn't. I had a choice that morning, and I went against every single instinct and desire that I had. I shook myself and I said to myself: Take the focus off him. Put it on yourself. Go to the Al-Anon meeting.</p><p></p><p>And I actually wrestled that steering wheel from my own self and went to the meeting. My son is still alive. That day and time passed, and I was the better for it.</p><p></p><p>Please know that we know just how this is and how compulsive the feeling is that we have to get to them NOW. But like you yourself said TE, we have been there and done that. So many times. It's time to let go, and this experience is part of learning how to do that. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>TE, here is my two cents' worth on this. I believe that any time our difficult children spend in jail---off the street and with much more limited access to drugs there---is a good thing. Given the two choices: homelessness/drug use and jail, I am going to choose jail every time. </p><p></p><p>I have called the police to come and get my own son, TE. The first time I did that, I was shaking I was so upset at what I was doing. But I did it, it was the next right thing I could do at that minute, I believe, and since then I have done it again. </p><p></p><p>And I will do it again. He is now 25. That is why I am actually hoping he goes to prison on June 25 instead of back to the street. </p><p></p><p>Time is our friend and our ally here. If at least our difficult children can get more time, that is a good thing. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes you have. Every single thing, I am sure. When your mind is racing like this, do something physical, like RE said. Scrub the kitchen floor. Dig weeds out of the front yard. Take that 11 minute walk.</p><p></p><p>Do the next thing in front of you---physical things---to break the mental cycle of craziness that this disease brings to all of us. </p><p></p><p>Holding you close in my thoughts and prayers, TE, as well as your difficult child. I am praying that he reaches a bottom soon and starts on a path to a new life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 628145, member: 17542"] TE, you are not alone in this. We have and do feel this way, too. In the past few months, one day, I posted that I was out driving and I wanted to go look for my son. It was a Sunday morning. I usually go to Al-Anon on Sunday morning but when I got in the car to go there, I started obsessing about my son and wondering if he was at the breakfast in the park that a church here gives on Sunday mornings for homeless people. I had not heard from him in several days, and I just wanted to bad to know he was still alive. TE, it was like my car was almost forcing me to drive to that park. I wanted to go there so bad. So bad. But I didn't. I had a choice that morning, and I went against every single instinct and desire that I had. I shook myself and I said to myself: Take the focus off him. Put it on yourself. Go to the Al-Anon meeting. And I actually wrestled that steering wheel from my own self and went to the meeting. My son is still alive. That day and time passed, and I was the better for it. Please know that we know just how this is and how compulsive the feeling is that we have to get to them NOW. But like you yourself said TE, we have been there and done that. So many times. It's time to let go, and this experience is part of learning how to do that. TE, here is my two cents' worth on this. I believe that any time our difficult children spend in jail---off the street and with much more limited access to drugs there---is a good thing. Given the two choices: homelessness/drug use and jail, I am going to choose jail every time. I have called the police to come and get my own son, TE. The first time I did that, I was shaking I was so upset at what I was doing. But I did it, it was the next right thing I could do at that minute, I believe, and since then I have done it again. And I will do it again. He is now 25. That is why I am actually hoping he goes to prison on June 25 instead of back to the street. Time is our friend and our ally here. If at least our difficult children can get more time, that is a good thing. Yes you have. Every single thing, I am sure. When your mind is racing like this, do something physical, like RE said. Scrub the kitchen floor. Dig weeds out of the front yard. Take that 11 minute walk. Do the next thing in front of you---physical things---to break the mental cycle of craziness that this disease brings to all of us. Holding you close in my thoughts and prayers, TE, as well as your difficult child. I am praying that he reaches a bottom soon and starts on a path to a new life. [/QUOTE]
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