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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 9638" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We recently had a trip to the dentist with easy child 2/difficult child 2's boyfriend. He had a bad cavity that had been neglected (he's terrified of dentists) but the pain got so bad because the tooth was such a mess, that he had to have the tooth pulled. The pain had to be really bad before he would even go to the dentist.</p><p></p><p>So we took him, we paid for the extraction (A$200) and he has now paid us back from his first pay cheque. He has no insurance. We do, partly, but it would only cover half and it won't cover non-family members. In fact it won't cover working adult members, so the older kids have to get their own health insurance (difficult child 1 & easy child already have done this).</p><p></p><p>We pointed out to him the value of having dental insurance. He agreed but can't afford it yet. We also pointed out that he needs to look after his teeth to avoid unpleasant dental visits.</p><p></p><p>How did your difficult child enjoy his dental visit? A scale & clean is unpleasant if your gums are sore and bleeding. If he can hold the thought that failing to clean his teeth properly will lead to a lot more of this, maybe he is going to be more cooperative, just to save himself.</p><p></p><p>Another BIG thought - if his gums are sore, it will hurt to clean his teeth. I would talk to him about this (keep it on a cooperative level, you want to reduce his discomfort and help his gums heal) and maybe go shopping for a very soft, very small child's toothbrush. Get several because they will 'shaggy dog' very quickly, but soft won't hurt his gums so much. Another option - you can get brushes that have r-u-b-b-e-r bristles on the outer area, these massage the gums without scratching. He still needs a soft brush, though.</p><p>Then, if you want to discreetly check up on him to make sure he's not just running the water, you can feel his brush to make sure it's been wet, plus you can smell it for toothpaste. Don't let him know you are doing this, just call him back to do his teeth if you know he hasn't. Let HIM puzzle over how you could know - keep the kids guessing as to how all-seeing parents can be, is my motto. </p><p>Another option - just get him to brush once a day in the evening after he's finished eating - a clean mouth before bedtime is the most important. If he's only doing it once a day it's still the best time. Check his gums yourself, regularly. If you see little or no improvement, tell him that once a day in the evening after dinner is no longer enough; he'll need to brush after each meal and present himself to you for inspection. Show him what to look for and teach him to examine his own gums. And whenever he tells you to stop fussing, point out that not only are you trying to avoid a big dental bill, you're trying to save him the long-term pain, discomfort and bad health that will result in failure to take care. Take him out and introduce him to some homeless people and get him to ask them what a toothache feels like, and what they did to dull the pain.</p><p></p><p>He also should be flossing - if his gums aren't good, there will be gaps between his teeth where food is getting caught. This is really uncomfortable and he doesn't have to floss between each tooth, just use the floss to get out the bits that are stuck. Once he can feel the immediate relief from discomfort and pain, he will do the rest of his teeth too, at least now and then, to feel more comfortable. If he has big gaps between his teeth it's OK to tie a knot or two in the floss to help pull out any food bits. Failing to clean out the bits is a HUGE reason for puffy, sore, inflamed gums. Removing those bits is almost miraculous.</p><p></p><p>Undoubtedly food is getting caught between his teeth, down next to the gum. It's got to be, from your description. Is he using toothpicks to get it out? They work, but take time and they hurt. Floss is better. It's quicker, it's more thorough, it hurts less and you feel more comfortable much faster. Let him work out how to use it for himself - I've found that the way dentists show you is sometimes too rough for beginners. You have to work up to it and you do this naturally as your gum health improves.</p><p></p><p>In the long term - he has to take on his own responsibility for his teeth. And to do that you have to get him into the habit, and sell him on the selfish reasons for it.</p><p></p><p>It sounds to me like he's been avoiding cleaning his teeth because of the discomfort and inconvenience. if he's got to go to the trouble of faking cleaning his teeth, that's just as inconvenient. So all you have left now is the discomfort factor. And the sooner he takes this over, the sooner the discomfort will ease.</p><p></p><p>One last, really dirty trick - feed him lots of big crunchy things (like celery sticks), lots of big chunks of meat, preferably slightly tough meat with long fibres, and the piece de resistance - corn on the cob. These are all notorious for getting stuck and needing to be picked out of they cause pain. Then when he complains - toss him the canister of floss.</p><p></p><p>Good luck!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 9638, member: 1991"] We recently had a trip to the dentist with easy child 2/difficult child 2's boyfriend. He had a bad cavity that had been neglected (he's terrified of dentists) but the pain got so bad because the tooth was such a mess, that he had to have the tooth pulled. The pain had to be really bad before he would even go to the dentist. So we took him, we paid for the extraction (A$200) and he has now paid us back from his first pay cheque. He has no insurance. We do, partly, but it would only cover half and it won't cover non-family members. In fact it won't cover working adult members, so the older kids have to get their own health insurance (difficult child 1 & easy child already have done this). We pointed out to him the value of having dental insurance. He agreed but can't afford it yet. We also pointed out that he needs to look after his teeth to avoid unpleasant dental visits. How did your difficult child enjoy his dental visit? A scale & clean is unpleasant if your gums are sore and bleeding. If he can hold the thought that failing to clean his teeth properly will lead to a lot more of this, maybe he is going to be more cooperative, just to save himself. Another BIG thought - if his gums are sore, it will hurt to clean his teeth. I would talk to him about this (keep it on a cooperative level, you want to reduce his discomfort and help his gums heal) and maybe go shopping for a very soft, very small child's toothbrush. Get several because they will 'shaggy dog' very quickly, but soft won't hurt his gums so much. Another option - you can get brushes that have r-u-b-b-e-r bristles on the outer area, these massage the gums without scratching. He still needs a soft brush, though. Then, if you want to discreetly check up on him to make sure he's not just running the water, you can feel his brush to make sure it's been wet, plus you can smell it for toothpaste. Don't let him know you are doing this, just call him back to do his teeth if you know he hasn't. Let HIM puzzle over how you could know - keep the kids guessing as to how all-seeing parents can be, is my motto. Another option - just get him to brush once a day in the evening after he's finished eating - a clean mouth before bedtime is the most important. If he's only doing it once a day it's still the best time. Check his gums yourself, regularly. If you see little or no improvement, tell him that once a day in the evening after dinner is no longer enough; he'll need to brush after each meal and present himself to you for inspection. Show him what to look for and teach him to examine his own gums. And whenever he tells you to stop fussing, point out that not only are you trying to avoid a big dental bill, you're trying to save him the long-term pain, discomfort and bad health that will result in failure to take care. Take him out and introduce him to some homeless people and get him to ask them what a toothache feels like, and what they did to dull the pain. He also should be flossing - if his gums aren't good, there will be gaps between his teeth where food is getting caught. This is really uncomfortable and he doesn't have to floss between each tooth, just use the floss to get out the bits that are stuck. Once he can feel the immediate relief from discomfort and pain, he will do the rest of his teeth too, at least now and then, to feel more comfortable. If he has big gaps between his teeth it's OK to tie a knot or two in the floss to help pull out any food bits. Failing to clean out the bits is a HUGE reason for puffy, sore, inflamed gums. Removing those bits is almost miraculous. Undoubtedly food is getting caught between his teeth, down next to the gum. It's got to be, from your description. Is he using toothpicks to get it out? They work, but take time and they hurt. Floss is better. It's quicker, it's more thorough, it hurts less and you feel more comfortable much faster. Let him work out how to use it for himself - I've found that the way dentists show you is sometimes too rough for beginners. You have to work up to it and you do this naturally as your gum health improves. In the long term - he has to take on his own responsibility for his teeth. And to do that you have to get him into the habit, and sell him on the selfish reasons for it. It sounds to me like he's been avoiding cleaning his teeth because of the discomfort and inconvenience. if he's got to go to the trouble of faking cleaning his teeth, that's just as inconvenient. So all you have left now is the discomfort factor. And the sooner he takes this over, the sooner the discomfort will ease. One last, really dirty trick - feed him lots of big crunchy things (like celery sticks), lots of big chunks of meat, preferably slightly tough meat with long fibres, and the piece de resistance - corn on the cob. These are all notorious for getting stuck and needing to be picked out of they cause pain. Then when he complains - toss him the canister of floss. Good luck! Marg [/QUOTE]
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