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Need words of wisdom please!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 309996" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi kitty lover. </p><p> </p><p>Sounds like you have had your hands full for a long time. You know at 21 I'm surprised that people as you if she's MR and there has never been a diagnoses. Have you ever taken her for any sort of testing to rule it out? </p><p> </p><p>You said she was denied Social Security Disability. Are you aware that most people are denied the first time - nearly every time? I think my son is about the most dysfunctional human I have ever met and if anyone ever qualified based on past history it would be him - but he was also denied. I belive he's going to get an attorney. He's 19, living in foster care currently. Something you may want to check into. </p><p> </p><p>It's awful that you have to work 2 jobs, and when the baby comes how does your daughter expect to support this baby? Welfare wont last forever, and insurance - how is she going to pay for the hospital bill? What about health insurance for the baby and well baby check ups and food, diapers, clothing, car seats, crib etc. Maybe the way to get her to see that she's not able is by setting a plan down with the price tags attached to everything and showing her a budget of how much everything is going to cost HER - not you HER. Financially - where is she going to get the money? If she has no job? How are diapers and formula and the basic necessities going to come into the house for that child? </p><p> </p><p>There must be some resources available to help you. I know you said she's against adoption. I, myself am adopted and I'm not against adoption so I wonder if YOU maybe went (without her knowing) to an agency and asked for advice on how to perhaps go about showing your daughter that she is really not capable - or what are some good ways to present it to her?? (Just thinking out loud) Maybe they have better ideas than mine and the financial report because I'm sure her first line of defense is - I'll have Medicaid and Welfare and this and that - and well - it sounds good - but you know - Medicaid could go belly up any time with our current government - Welfare too. Something to think about. </p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry for you both. I would not want to think that it would come to you having to push to find her an unfit Mother - that would be a further wedge and no one wants that - but push come to shove - you'll have to think of the baby. Sounds like you're doing just that by opening up here and I'm so glad you chose to come out and let us meet you. </p><p> </p><p>Others will be along....don't despair....its' great therapy to write it down and get others opinions...we're a pretty decent group really ...More understanding than any I've ever met in my life for sure. (A little goofy too -watch out for some of us - we get a little left of center now and then but ya know our kids do that to us) <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p><p> </p><p>OH and should it be that you remain in the house with a wee one....Where are my manners....</p><p> </p><p>CONGRATULATIONS GRANDMA...or NANA or MEEMAW Or whatever you have dubbed yourself. It's a girl! </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & Welcome </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 309996, member: 4964"] Hi kitty lover. Sounds like you have had your hands full for a long time. You know at 21 I'm surprised that people as you if she's MR and there has never been a diagnoses. Have you ever taken her for any sort of testing to rule it out? You said she was denied Social Security Disability. Are you aware that most people are denied the first time - nearly every time? I think my son is about the most dysfunctional human I have ever met and if anyone ever qualified based on past history it would be him - but he was also denied. I belive he's going to get an attorney. He's 19, living in foster care currently. Something you may want to check into. It's awful that you have to work 2 jobs, and when the baby comes how does your daughter expect to support this baby? Welfare wont last forever, and insurance - how is she going to pay for the hospital bill? What about health insurance for the baby and well baby check ups and food, diapers, clothing, car seats, crib etc. Maybe the way to get her to see that she's not able is by setting a plan down with the price tags attached to everything and showing her a budget of how much everything is going to cost HER - not you HER. Financially - where is she going to get the money? If she has no job? How are diapers and formula and the basic necessities going to come into the house for that child? There must be some resources available to help you. I know you said she's against adoption. I, myself am adopted and I'm not against adoption so I wonder if YOU maybe went (without her knowing) to an agency and asked for advice on how to perhaps go about showing your daughter that she is really not capable - or what are some good ways to present it to her?? (Just thinking out loud) Maybe they have better ideas than mine and the financial report because I'm sure her first line of defense is - I'll have Medicaid and Welfare and this and that - and well - it sounds good - but you know - Medicaid could go belly up any time with our current government - Welfare too. Something to think about. I'm sorry for you both. I would not want to think that it would come to you having to push to find her an unfit Mother - that would be a further wedge and no one wants that - but push come to shove - you'll have to think of the baby. Sounds like you're doing just that by opening up here and I'm so glad you chose to come out and let us meet you. Others will be along....don't despair....its' great therapy to write it down and get others opinions...we're a pretty decent group really ...More understanding than any I've ever met in my life for sure. (A little goofy too -watch out for some of us - we get a little left of center now and then but ya know our kids do that to us) :raspberry-tounge: OH and should it be that you remain in the house with a wee one....Where are my manners.... CONGRATULATIONS GRANDMA...or NANA or MEEMAW Or whatever you have dubbed yourself. It's a girl! Hugs & Welcome Star [/QUOTE]
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