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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 381218" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Barbara, I'm chiming in late on this...</p><p></p><p>It is lovely to see you, but I'm sorry about the circumstances that have brought you back. You are indeed right to label your son's conversation as verbal abuse. I think it's very difficult to realize it when it is our children doing the abusing.</p><p></p><p>I have seen my difficult child do this to others (and have always come down very hard on him for it). And I've also been on the receiving end of it from my now-dead sister in law, who was addicted to alcohol and other drugs for a very long time. The verbal abuse usually came from her during her sober periods. Although she stopped drinking and taking drugs from time to time, she never went to therapy, worked a program, or otherwise tried to deal with the issues that led her to drink in the first place. Without any support system around her other than fellow-travellers who saw the world through the bottom of a bottle, she put the responsibility for her troubles on everyone else's shoulders and lashed out accordingly, often hard enough to crush your heart.</p><p></p><p>Although your son has gotten clean, it seems as though he still has a lot of baggage to go through. Is he participating in AA, NA or another 12-step program? </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you were able to find help in the coping and detachment resources in your sig line. I know I've found them to be so helpful, and I'm grateful to you for keeping them there as I've referred to them often.</p><p></p><p>Sending hugs,</p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 381218, member: 3907"] Barbara, I'm chiming in late on this... It is lovely to see you, but I'm sorry about the circumstances that have brought you back. You are indeed right to label your son's conversation as verbal abuse. I think it's very difficult to realize it when it is our children doing the abusing. I have seen my difficult child do this to others (and have always come down very hard on him for it). And I've also been on the receiving end of it from my now-dead sister in law, who was addicted to alcohol and other drugs for a very long time. The verbal abuse usually came from her during her sober periods. Although she stopped drinking and taking drugs from time to time, she never went to therapy, worked a program, or otherwise tried to deal with the issues that led her to drink in the first place. Without any support system around her other than fellow-travellers who saw the world through the bottom of a bottle, she put the responsibility for her troubles on everyone else's shoulders and lashed out accordingly, often hard enough to crush your heart. Although your son has gotten clean, it seems as though he still has a lot of baggage to go through. Is he participating in AA, NA or another 12-step program? I'm glad you were able to find help in the coping and detachment resources in your sig line. I know I've found them to be so helpful, and I'm grateful to you for keeping them there as I've referred to them often. Sending hugs, Trinity [/QUOTE]
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