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Need your help with husband
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 151299" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Mustang,</p><p>My husband is also a fixer. He tried and tried and tried to fix difficult child, when he got kicked out of school after school after school. When he started having run-ins with the police. When he took off after his big sister with the butcher knife and she had to lock herself in her room until we got home from work. When we had to send Little easy child away to live with relatives for several months to keep him out of harm's way when difficult child was raging.</p><p></p><p>Still, husband tried to fix him. It was killing him. After the 3rd hospitalization for heart issues (when they had to essentially reboot husband's heart to keep him alive), I put my foot down. But that still wasn't enough. Finally, difficult child's therapist said, "If difficult child doesn't learn any life skills, what's going to happen to him when you die. He won't survive 5 minutes in the world without you." THAT was enough.</p><p></p><p>We have a friend whose brother has the same diagnoses and similar functional impairments to difficult child. He's in his mid-50s and still lives with his now aging and ailing parents. When they die, he has nowhere to go.</p><p></p><p>husband finally realized that difficult child's would end up just like him if we didn't do something about it NOW. So...we moved difficult child into long term assisted living/Residential Treatment Center (RTC).</p><p></p><p>For myself, unless there is a significant material change in difficult child's behaviour, I will never live under the same roof as my difficult child again. The rest of my family doesn't deserve to live with such chaos and danger, and it's a welcome relief to have my home be a sanctuary rather than a war zone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 151299, member: 3907"] Mustang, My husband is also a fixer. He tried and tried and tried to fix difficult child, when he got kicked out of school after school after school. When he started having run-ins with the police. When he took off after his big sister with the butcher knife and she had to lock herself in her room until we got home from work. When we had to send Little easy child away to live with relatives for several months to keep him out of harm's way when difficult child was raging. Still, husband tried to fix him. It was killing him. After the 3rd hospitalization for heart issues (when they had to essentially reboot husband's heart to keep him alive), I put my foot down. But that still wasn't enough. Finally, difficult child's therapist said, "If difficult child doesn't learn any life skills, what's going to happen to him when you die. He won't survive 5 minutes in the world without you." THAT was enough. We have a friend whose brother has the same diagnoses and similar functional impairments to difficult child. He's in his mid-50s and still lives with his now aging and ailing parents. When they die, he has nowhere to go. husband finally realized that difficult child's would end up just like him if we didn't do something about it NOW. So...we moved difficult child into long term assisted living/Residential Treatment Center (RTC). For myself, unless there is a significant material change in difficult child's behaviour, I will never live under the same roof as my difficult child again. The rest of my family doesn't deserve to live with such chaos and danger, and it's a welcome relief to have my home be a sanctuary rather than a war zone. [/QUOTE]
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