needed a break

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Dec 4, 2010.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    So, today i had a meltdown no crying just kinda wanted to pack up the truck again head up to the mountains where ever those are!! :)

    difficult child although eating, has been more of a struggle behavioraly sleep wise etc due to no medications now. very very happy about the eating. yet even with that had to draw my lines and strong. told her if 3 meals aren't completed each day and they can be super small off to the hospital you go after xmas, and not the hospital you want 7 hours away, the local one. why did i do this? because she flipped the script yesterday momentarily. i had to gauge was it her defiance and nastiness or the phobia returning. took a shot at nastiness and yup i was right.

    we are back on track, potatoes and chicken last night breakfast today. phobia's over. if she slips back it's all her other mental illness at play mixed in with-all her behavioral issues, not the fear. she truly beat it. i saw those wheels click, and turn and connect those dots earlier this week during therapy. she was just ready and tired of her life the way it is. yet now she's lacking the attention the eating disorder gave her. make sense? you would have to know her. super polite, sweet, kid, yet flip is super needy, sep. anxiety to hilt, defiant, nasty, complicated, brilliant, creative and hyper and depressed up and down and all around. i bet alot of you have those in your home too! :)

    ex h came out today to take her to chuck cheese's was happy he could take her to place for actual food. she has been up each night since tapering off medications that weren't really working anyway till 3 a.m. we tried to close our door, sleep yet she screams my name till 3 a.m. it's enough to make you want to, well you can imagine.

    told exh today just take her overnight. i need a break or i wont' be good to anyone. need a nite where husband and i aren't sitting up till 3 listening to her scream.

    so i went to natural food store and bought a great multi vitamin for myself, my hair's falling out in clumps by the way and i have a bald spot in the back now tiny yet there. made an appointment for a hair cut. went to a cheap cheap place two weeks ago and they totally butchered it.

    so hopefully he wont' mess her up keeping her for 48 hours not even. yet enough is enough is say. so, i'm going to take my vitamins, get a haircut without difficult child hasseling me, come home eat dinner and a movie alone. easy child has plans. i'm not cleaning the house or running to laundromat, dryer broke again.

    just doing me today. tmrw everything else well it can wait.easy child said wow your sending her? you got vitamins for you besides what your taking and your getting a hair cut?? i said yup if i dont' start doing for me i wont' be me anymore i'll be the stressed out person you have come to know now for 5 mos.

    :) so yea i took all your advice for a day. its' a start..
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Time for some earplugs and a white noise machine parked in the hallway? Maybe it'll help both of you sleep. I'm not generally a daytime sleeper, but they have those in kiddo's therapist office all over the place (including the waiting room) and I've nodded off a few times there. Took me a while to figure out it was the machines!
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    :bath::wine::nails:Good job ~ it will do you a world of good. Don't forget the manicure, massage with a good glass of wine.
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Haozi u know it's funny you say that she's had a natural noise's radio, diff. themes to it freaks her out lol. go figure. i think i'm going to look for the white noise machine sounds like a good idea. she has her sensory evaluation this week as well so i'm hoping info i gain from that will help. the kid def. is manic some nights anxiety ridden others. yet she is also just "off" if you know what i mean with the constant screaming mom thing till 3 a.m.

    Linda - it was much needed. i now look human, good hair cut. woman told me do not wash your hair everyday, do not highlight it for a while, just pop those raw vitamin and herb mix you got each day till growth returns. it isn't that bad just super super thin. alot fell out. didnt' do the manicure, and massage. couldnt' afford that. felt guilty spending what i did between vitamins and haircut. yet i needed it. i even picked up take out on my way home, tried to bond with easy child yet that didnt' work lol. so i'm going to write tonight and watch a movie alone till husband gets home much later. :)

    it's nice to think no screaming tonight. husband said we'll try to do brunch in a.m. before i go to laundromat and clean house. that would be cool. yet we always make a plan and it doesnt' pan out. we'll see. just needed her out of my hair for a bit. hoping the ex doesnt' mess her up too much. last time he saw her he shared how when he was a kid he saw a u.f.o. so ofcourse the kid all week kept thinking aliens were outside. gotta love my ex husband! NOT
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest