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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 764235" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think he should consider himself lucky he was not jailed for this.</p><p></p><p>For what? You are his mother. You are deserving of protection and respect. There is no justification to submit yourself and your home and family to be overrun and trashed. Not only did he do this, he directly and purposely disregarded clear rules. How is he and he alone not responsible for any and all repercussions? The guilt is his. Not yours. Nobody could and should tolerate this behavior.</p><p></p><p> I agree one hundred percent with Deni. If he wants to live this way let him live 100 percent on his own dime, and under his own roof. It is time.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to believe he could maintain a job without going for a month. That testifies to his capacity and potential.</p><p></p><p>He, not you, is responsible for the kind of person he is, and the kind of life he has. This is a very, very hard reality for mothers to accept when our children's values and conduct do not adhere to our own and what we had hoped for them. No matter how much we suffer for them, and at their hands it will not change reality. He is choosing with his feet, the kind of life he wants. The consequences are his to bear, not yours. I wish it were different. It is not. He may change, but his life is no longer in your hands. It's in his. That is reality. I wish it wasn't.</p><p></p><p>If you stay here on this forum for a while you will see that all of us have lived a version of your story. Each of us could not bear facing the reality that our children were dominating our homes and lives, and that we had to face making hard decisions. Nothing about your situation is easy. You will suffer coming and going. But there is no other way except to face the reality that your child is acting unbearably and to continue tolerating it, hurts everybody in the family especially your son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 764235, member: 18958"] I think he should consider himself lucky he was not jailed for this. For what? You are his mother. You are deserving of protection and respect. There is no justification to submit yourself and your home and family to be overrun and trashed. Not only did he do this, he directly and purposely disregarded clear rules. How is he and he alone not responsible for any and all repercussions? The guilt is his. Not yours. Nobody could and should tolerate this behavior. I agree one hundred percent with Deni. If he wants to live this way let him live 100 percent on his own dime, and under his own roof. It is time. It's hard to believe he could maintain a job without going for a month. That testifies to his capacity and potential. He, not you, is responsible for the kind of person he is, and the kind of life he has. This is a very, very hard reality for mothers to accept when our children's values and conduct do not adhere to our own and what we had hoped for them. No matter how much we suffer for them, and at their hands it will not change reality. He is choosing with his feet, the kind of life he wants. The consequences are his to bear, not yours. I wish it were different. It is not. He may change, but his life is no longer in your hands. It's in his. That is reality. I wish it wasn't. If you stay here on this forum for a while you will see that all of us have lived a version of your story. Each of us could not bear facing the reality that our children were dominating our homes and lives, and that we had to face making hard decisions. Nothing about your situation is easy. You will suffer coming and going. But there is no other way except to face the reality that your child is acting unbearably and to continue tolerating it, hurts everybody in the family especially your son. [/QUOTE]
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