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Substance Abuse
nervous! speaker phone call Wed @9am...
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<blockquote data-quote="DarkwingPsyduck" data-source="post: 686578" data-attributes="member: 20267"><p>You introduce me to an honest addict, and I will introduce you to a liar. We are like the professionals in lying. Most people do it here and there, for good reasons, or bad reasons, but they are merely visiting. We own it. There is NO lie too big for us to tell. It is a sad reality. We adopt many characteristics of personality disorders, like sociopath tendencies. It becomes so routine that, eventually, it doesn't bother you at all. As if it was a necessity, or that we are somehow entitled. It is all nonsense, of course, but nobody ever accused addiction of making sense. </p><p></p><p>Maybe he wrote lies in the letter, maybe not. If he did not, I wonder what it is that makes him refuse to read it. It is possible that he has admitted things far beyond what you know or think. Things he is VERY ashamed of, and would rather leave in the back of a dark closet. This would make a lot of sense, and would be indicative of at least starting to do things right. Facing the things we did is terrifying and humiliating at the same time. Maybe you could express to him that you know he did and said bad things, and that the only way to truly get past it is to go right through it? It is something he will need to do at some point, and maybe you can ease it up some for him by letting him know that, as long as he is in recovery, everything else is in the past. But ONLY if he is clean. Forgiveness is difficult, as is asking for it. Especially when we don't believe we deserve it. In order for him to even start being forgiven, things will need to drastically change. Let him know that you are hurt by his actions, but not ready to just throw in the towel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DarkwingPsyduck, post: 686578, member: 20267"] You introduce me to an honest addict, and I will introduce you to a liar. We are like the professionals in lying. Most people do it here and there, for good reasons, or bad reasons, but they are merely visiting. We own it. There is NO lie too big for us to tell. It is a sad reality. We adopt many characteristics of personality disorders, like sociopath tendencies. It becomes so routine that, eventually, it doesn't bother you at all. As if it was a necessity, or that we are somehow entitled. It is all nonsense, of course, but nobody ever accused addiction of making sense. Maybe he wrote lies in the letter, maybe not. If he did not, I wonder what it is that makes him refuse to read it. It is possible that he has admitted things far beyond what you know or think. Things he is VERY ashamed of, and would rather leave in the back of a dark closet. This would make a lot of sense, and would be indicative of at least starting to do things right. Facing the things we did is terrifying and humiliating at the same time. Maybe you could express to him that you know he did and said bad things, and that the only way to truly get past it is to go right through it? It is something he will need to do at some point, and maybe you can ease it up some for him by letting him know that, as long as he is in recovery, everything else is in the past. But ONLY if he is clean. Forgiveness is difficult, as is asking for it. Especially when we don't believe we deserve it. In order for him to even start being forgiven, things will need to drastically change. Let him know that you are hurt by his actions, but not ready to just throw in the towel. [/QUOTE]
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