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neuropsychologist said he's not an aspie
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 38218" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Yep. What difficult child 1 wrote was almost completely word for word.</p><p></p><p>The other test they did where he accidentally fudged it was a test for short-term memory recall. I really worry about his short-term memory. It's basically the 'holding' memory, where you slot things like the phone number you've just looked up to dial, or the adddress, or a series of instructions. he can only hold one thing at a time unless we go slowly. In this test they read out a series of numbers with increasing numbers of digits. Beginning with, say, a five digit number they read it out as "3 - 5 - 7 - 2 - 3" with about a second between each digit. He then had to tell them back each series of numbers. Because it had been delivered slowly, he could do it. His response was slow, but accurate. I was frustrated because they hadn't picked up what we observe regularly - the mental confusion and total forgetting of multiple step instructions, plus the anxiety it produces in him.</p><p></p><p>It was about six months after the assessment that he came up to me and said, "What was that test where they read the numbers to me for? I mean, why did they want the numbers back in the same order they gave them to me? it would have been so much easier to give them the numbers in the reverse order."</p><p>He then rattled off a couple of the numbers he'd been given to explain what he meant. basically, as each digit was read to him he had enough time to slot it into his long-term memory, before the next digit was given. But to access his long-term memory he was using last number in, first number out. Then he had to put it back again in reverse order, so he could finally utter the whole sequence as he had been given them, which was as they were requested. This was why he had been MUCH slower (but still accurate) in his delivery, right up to nine digit numbers. </p><p></p><p>Because he has learned to compensate by using his long-term memory, he has an amazing storage and has a developed a moderately fast method of accurate recall. His deficit seems to be in short-term memory, but he has now a facet of his long term memory which compensates, mostly without problem. If things are flying at him too fast he goes to pieces and withdraws, but this is happening less and less. It is more obvious in a distracting, noisy environment. Interesting, husband is like this too. And also, husband has an amazing store of knowledge with good recall. Mine used to be as good, but not since my disability which has also affected cognitive function. All the family members are highly visual - my memory is connected with visual cues too - at work I would be asked where something in particular was located and I would give the room number, the cupboard location, the shelf in the cupboard and also what was nearby. I could even do a rough inventory or stocktake, using this recall. Definitely not now!</p><p></p><p>Whatever is decided in the label for your son, if you act as though he has the Aspie diagnosis it is a start, even if it is ruled out. When Asperger's was ruled out for easy child 2/difficult child 2 we tried to go back to normal expectations for her. Now she is 20 we can see that she is not normal. Mind you, most people do not see what we do, because she can hold things together moderately well and only goes to pieces fully where she feels safe. She's developed ways to escape and hide while still being socially acceptable - a fight with the boss can send her to the loo but she won't show tears until she's inside with the door locked. And she will wash her face and reapply make-up before she leaves the bathroom. She's mostly learned to not react even when she's angry, but if she's still angry when she gets home, the slightest little thing will produce the tantrum that she had to bite back at work. it has to come out somewhere, some time and it's better that we get it, than she lose her job for bursting into tears in front of customers.</p><p>Because she's a check-out chick she can successfully avoid all but fleeting eye contact. By keeping busy she needn't make eye contact although she's OK with people she knows. As a result, the pediatrician (who she feels comfortable with) will not diagnose Asperger's, although easy child 2/difficult child 2 herself wants to challenge him on this. Not that it matters now - she's getting all the support she needs at college anyway, and employers don't care. They only want to see how well she works.</p><p></p><p>Bur we've gone back to treating her as a high-functioning Aspie, and we're all getting on much better. She is also back to making more independent decisions, so we sometimes forget that she needs more than the average 20 year old.</p><p></p><p>She's upset that we're going to NZ without her. At first it was "I want a holiday too - why did you book it for while I would be in college?" but underneath, the real problem is "I'm scared to be on my own at home."</p><p>So now we know the real problem we don't say, "Don't be silly - you're an adult now, you should be looking ahead to living on your own, this will be good practice for you," we say, "BF2 will be here, and if he's not you can go and stay with Grandma, who probably will be lonely and needs someone to help her look after herself in our absence." </p><p>It may be extra stress to stay with Grandma, but easy child 2/difficult child 2 welcomed the suggestion because she knows she will be frightened on her own and will happily take on the extra burden, so as not to be alone.</p><p></p><p>Our kids take longer to mature, but they DO get there. And they have to get there - otherwise we will be carers for life, with live-in patients.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 38218, member: 1991"] Yep. What difficult child 1 wrote was almost completely word for word. The other test they did where he accidentally fudged it was a test for short-term memory recall. I really worry about his short-term memory. It's basically the 'holding' memory, where you slot things like the phone number you've just looked up to dial, or the adddress, or a series of instructions. he can only hold one thing at a time unless we go slowly. In this test they read out a series of numbers with increasing numbers of digits. Beginning with, say, a five digit number they read it out as "3 - 5 - 7 - 2 - 3" with about a second between each digit. He then had to tell them back each series of numbers. Because it had been delivered slowly, he could do it. His response was slow, but accurate. I was frustrated because they hadn't picked up what we observe regularly - the mental confusion and total forgetting of multiple step instructions, plus the anxiety it produces in him. It was about six months after the assessment that he came up to me and said, "What was that test where they read the numbers to me for? I mean, why did they want the numbers back in the same order they gave them to me? it would have been so much easier to give them the numbers in the reverse order." He then rattled off a couple of the numbers he'd been given to explain what he meant. basically, as each digit was read to him he had enough time to slot it into his long-term memory, before the next digit was given. But to access his long-term memory he was using last number in, first number out. Then he had to put it back again in reverse order, so he could finally utter the whole sequence as he had been given them, which was as they were requested. This was why he had been MUCH slower (but still accurate) in his delivery, right up to nine digit numbers. Because he has learned to compensate by using his long-term memory, he has an amazing storage and has a developed a moderately fast method of accurate recall. His deficit seems to be in short-term memory, but he has now a facet of his long term memory which compensates, mostly without problem. If things are flying at him too fast he goes to pieces and withdraws, but this is happening less and less. It is more obvious in a distracting, noisy environment. Interesting, husband is like this too. And also, husband has an amazing store of knowledge with good recall. Mine used to be as good, but not since my disability which has also affected cognitive function. All the family members are highly visual - my memory is connected with visual cues too - at work I would be asked where something in particular was located and I would give the room number, the cupboard location, the shelf in the cupboard and also what was nearby. I could even do a rough inventory or stocktake, using this recall. Definitely not now! Whatever is decided in the label for your son, if you act as though he has the Aspie diagnosis it is a start, even if it is ruled out. When Asperger's was ruled out for easy child 2/difficult child 2 we tried to go back to normal expectations for her. Now she is 20 we can see that she is not normal. Mind you, most people do not see what we do, because she can hold things together moderately well and only goes to pieces fully where she feels safe. She's developed ways to escape and hide while still being socially acceptable - a fight with the boss can send her to the loo but she won't show tears until she's inside with the door locked. And she will wash her face and reapply make-up before she leaves the bathroom. She's mostly learned to not react even when she's angry, but if she's still angry when she gets home, the slightest little thing will produce the tantrum that she had to bite back at work. it has to come out somewhere, some time and it's better that we get it, than she lose her job for bursting into tears in front of customers. Because she's a check-out chick she can successfully avoid all but fleeting eye contact. By keeping busy she needn't make eye contact although she's OK with people she knows. As a result, the pediatrician (who she feels comfortable with) will not diagnose Asperger's, although easy child 2/difficult child 2 herself wants to challenge him on this. Not that it matters now - she's getting all the support she needs at college anyway, and employers don't care. They only want to see how well she works. Bur we've gone back to treating her as a high-functioning Aspie, and we're all getting on much better. She is also back to making more independent decisions, so we sometimes forget that she needs more than the average 20 year old. She's upset that we're going to NZ without her. At first it was "I want a holiday too - why did you book it for while I would be in college?" but underneath, the real problem is "I'm scared to be on my own at home." So now we know the real problem we don't say, "Don't be silly - you're an adult now, you should be looking ahead to living on your own, this will be good practice for you," we say, "BF2 will be here, and if he's not you can go and stay with Grandma, who probably will be lonely and needs someone to help her look after herself in our absence." It may be extra stress to stay with Grandma, but easy child 2/difficult child 2 welcomed the suggestion because she knows she will be frightened on her own and will happily take on the extra burden, so as not to be alone. Our kids take longer to mature, but they DO get there. And they have to get there - otherwise we will be carers for life, with live-in patients. Marg [/QUOTE]
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