never a dull moment....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Feb 7, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi

    so it's been a long day. my dad went in for surgery this morning, so i was up at hospital after getting difficult child to school (little one that is), then i went to hospital then i had mtg up at older difficult child's school who will be 15.

    older difficult child 15 - she is failing every class; has been in downward spiral mode for past three years now, i'Tourette's Syndrome gotten increasingly worse. not a huge behavioral problem at home. she just doenst care as she put it about her schoolwork at all. so she does none. i called an its mtg. at school today with all her teachers, guidance counselor, dean, school pyschologists, etc. me with 12 school staff. yes i took notes. overall she's failing she doesn't care, her lack of ampathy is alarming she just doens't care, she is zoning out and spacing out during day in school, she is also creating drama with friends at school at every turn available, she is beginning to cut classes as well. i listened with-open mind, i took alot of notes, took all emails of all teachers at mtg. i was told by school pyschiatrist that lauren should have drug test to rule that out. so i have to take her tomorrow (yet another day off from job that is non existant anymore it seems). we have made 10th period normally a floating period mandatory. she will have aweekly as well as daily sheet. they told me working as far away as i do is just not good for her at all. that i need to be local. overall it was an absolute nightmare. not sure what consequences i'm going to take at home. they said you need to sit with her every night to do the h.w. i said ok i have another one difficult child with bi polar etc. who requires alot of care i'll do the best i can.

    little difficult child - stupid babysitter couldn't find her today in schoolyard so she calls me up and says do you have her?? once again let me repeat stupid. i said from now on you go into the bldg and look for her not waste precious tije and call me. then i call nurse who has become my buddy we talk everyday and she says oh no. we locate rin. thank goodnes. then the nurse is with rin's teacher and proceeds to say how rin is completely out of control asking to go to nurse 30 times a day what can i do i need release to talk to pyschdoc. i said here we go once again i've made appointment for testing at end of mos. we have another week till break starts then seh'l be in two days then gone for testing. we are to do nothing now we're deaing as best we can at home and we expect the same from you just deal with it.

    so basically i'm good and done for today. to say the least. it seems like ti's all crumbling down onto me at one time. even boyfriend who is usually very positive said to me wow it's getting bad all of it.

    thanks for letting me ramble i can't cry right now so i needed to get it out somehow

    jenn
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I think it's very smart to look into drug use for your daughter, but remember not all drugs come out on the test. When there is a real dip in grades and a lack of interest in anything at that age, that's the first thing I'd look for.
    I hope things work out for you. I'm really sorry for all the stuff going on.
     
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Has older one ever been seen by anyone? Sometimes, this "giving up and shutting down" attitude is depression. You guys have had to deal with so much, it wouldn't suprise me if she is depressed. Maybe not- but might be worth a check.

    Edited to add: Sorry you've had a bad day- my repsonse was probably about the last thing you wanted to hear- ((HUGS))- take a break, get a good dinner and good night's sleep!

    Did you hear back from fruity scheduling person at Columbia?
     
  4. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Wow. I'm sorry. I hope your Dad is doing ok after surgery. Older difficult child...drug test is a good idea. It's such a rough age to begin with. It sounds as if you need a break for yourself too.....don't forget that! Any way to hide somewhere for 15 alone? (like I try to do when I can) Maybe letting out that cry will make you feel a little relief too.....if it's been building up. Just a suggestion, as it does feel good every once in awhile to let it out. I am the best rambler in the world.....so, I don't think you are rambling. I hope things look up for you soon.
     
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi

    thanks for the kind words. thing with the older difficult child is her grades began going down slowly at the start of 7th grade. she began noticing that there were alot of friends to be had in the world. her social life started kicking up grades started to drop. had brought her to therapist when everything started with little difficult child because i knew it was creating stress. she didn't want to talk they actually said to me then seh's great kid she just doesn't want to do any schoolwork she has no interest. i tried again with therapist 3 mos. ago thinking that would work and it didnt'. therapist said she won't talk she's not ready. i don't think she's doing drugs, boyfriend doens't think so he sees how she is everyday also. she has no ampathy for schoolwork yet does when it comes to friends, etc. haven't really decided how i'm giong to move forward at this point yet with her. i am taking her for blood test tmrw already needed one to follow up on mono she got the other day, so i have to go to pediatrician's office and have them add on script for me. my ex husband thinks i should beat her to scare her. i said ok tha'Tourette's Syndrome just stupid. i'm not going to hit her, i'm going to find a local job spend time with her doing hw everynite or forcing her to she'll be in more of lockdown mode if i work local she won't be able to float about because i'll catch her. so i'm sending her this weekend to dad's with little difficult child so he can yell at her and instill a little fear. boyfriend doens't want to and idont' blame him at all their just forming their relationship have had some weird run ins' so he's just now trying to form a relationship wtih her he shouldn't be the disciplinarian in any way at leat that's how i feel about it. he made her lasagna the other day at rest. an entire tray because she mentioned how much she liked it she was thrilled.

    as far as columbia is concerned it took several fights on phone, phone calls back and forth while was driving to hospital today for dad's surgery and finally straightened it all out. she's going in 27th - 30th adn i think if the school complains one more time i'm walking in getting her work for 2 weeks and saying see ya in march you pain in the *ss jerks.

    yup that sounds about right......:)

    jen
     
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Has older one ever been seen by anyone? Sometimes, this "giving up and shutting down" attitude is depression. You guys have had to deal with so much, it wouldn't suprise me if she is depressed. Maybe not- but might be worth a check.

    Edited to add: Sorry you've had a bad day- my repsonse was probably about the last thing you wanted to hear- ((HUGS))- take a break, get a good dinner and good night's sleep!

    Did you hear back from fruity scheduling person at Columbia?



    sooo not the last thing i wanted to hear, just the opposite i am open as always to all thoughts. i am going to get her drug tested. i always appreciates the thoughts....

    thank u
    Jenn
     
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i can't even cry i cried for like a minute and i'm so twisted i can't even cry.

    that is frustrating in itself. you know what's more frustrating is after the day i've had runnign from hospitals to schools to stupid babysitter screw ups i cna't even know i can go to bed tonight. nope

    i don't want to give her chlonidine again tongiht gave it to her last night she didn't fall asleep till very late. hate giving it to her so it feels liket here isn't any solace anymore at all ever.
     
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