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Family of Origin
Never disinherit your kid
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 690620" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Now we know where Son got his vindictive email behavior. (The one about watching the obits to see whether his father was...you know the rest. That was so awful. I've never forgotten it.) What I found, as I went through the Chronicles experience here, is that though I might know intellectually that my mother's behaviors were manipulations, <em>some part of me, some vulnerable emotional part of me, believed her.</em> <em>Believed she knew more than I did about what was happening, and was correct.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>A mother's words, a father's words, echo through the generations in just that way.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>So says me. </em></p><p></p><p><em> </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>This is blackmail, Seeking. I am stuck in italics. Excuse me. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Oh, that is awful, what she wrote.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Interesting that your mother references the grandfather, reminding you that she holds access to him hostage. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Too.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Along with the money. Which would, according to the mother, save the life of her daughter's child.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Oh, this is awful, Seeking.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Grandiosity addict, for sure.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I can't imagine what it was, to grow up with her.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I found the meme about women beautiful.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>The offense, to the abusive mother or sister (in my case, sister is right in there too) is that the victim has found an external source of strength and compassionate support. Have found, and believe in, new ways to think about themselves.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>That you survived your upbringing to become the compassionate woman I hear in your posts finds me believing, again, in miracles and purpose.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>My sister does things like that. She believes herself to "walk with the Lord". At one time, when my children were little, she and her cohorts prayed a Ring of Thorns or a Ring of Fire or something around me and my children to "bring me to the Lord". Creepy. Thus does the "whack job" (Great terminology, Seeking! :O) ) justify hatred and relish vengeful thinking and turn envy into retribution.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>And not to sound like a whack job here myself, but those intentions toward us are out there, and are sincerely held, and are held over time.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>The sentence can be lifted if we come into the fold, admit we are wrong in our thinking, and do what the whack job mother or sister want. To save us, so that we can be saved. So they can finally stop checking the obits to see whether we are yet where they sincerely hope we will be.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Eternally.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>The answer: Beauty for ashes.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I would believe it, Seeking. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>That is what I meant, when I posted about believing what my mother said was deep in the bones correct. Though I could know intellectually that she was lying. Even after ferreting out the why behind the win in these behaviors for my mother or my sister, I felt like the Liar.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Cedar</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 690620, member: 17461"] Now we know where Son got his vindictive email behavior. (The one about watching the obits to see whether his father was...you know the rest. That was so awful. I've never forgotten it.) What I found, as I went through the Chronicles experience here, is that though I might know intellectually that my mother's behaviors were manipulations, [I]some part of me, some vulnerable emotional part of me, believed her.[/I] [I]Believed she knew more than I did about what was happening, and was correct. A mother's words, a father's words, echo through the generations in just that way. So says me. [/I] [I] This is blackmail, Seeking. I am stuck in italics. Excuse me. Oh, that is awful, what she wrote. Interesting that your mother references the grandfather, reminding you that she holds access to him hostage. Too. Along with the money. Which would, according to the mother, save the life of her daughter's child. Oh, this is awful, Seeking. Grandiosity addict, for sure. I can't imagine what it was, to grow up with her. I found the meme about women beautiful. The offense, to the abusive mother or sister (in my case, sister is right in there too) is that the victim has found an external source of strength and compassionate support. Have found, and believe in, new ways to think about themselves. That you survived your upbringing to become the compassionate woman I hear in your posts finds me believing, again, in miracles and purpose. My sister does things like that. She believes herself to "walk with the Lord". At one time, when my children were little, she and her cohorts prayed a Ring of Thorns or a Ring of Fire or something around me and my children to "bring me to the Lord". Creepy. Thus does the "whack job" (Great terminology, Seeking! :O) ) justify hatred and relish vengeful thinking and turn envy into retribution. And not to sound like a whack job here myself, but those intentions toward us are out there, and are sincerely held, and are held over time. The sentence can be lifted if we come into the fold, admit we are wrong in our thinking, and do what the whack job mother or sister want. To save us, so that we can be saved. So they can finally stop checking the obits to see whether we are yet where they sincerely hope we will be. Eternally. The answer: Beauty for ashes. I would believe it, Seeking. That is what I meant, when I posted about believing what my mother said was deep in the bones correct. Though I could know intellectually that she was lying. Even after ferreting out the why behind the win in these behaviors for my mother or my sister, I felt like the Liar. Cedar [/I] [/QUOTE]
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