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Never Good Enough...
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 443163" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>That was excellent Star. </p><p></p><p>I had to have that conversation with my mother several times over the years for her to eventually get it.</p><p></p><p>Then I had to have it <strong>again</strong> with her over my girls.</p><p></p><p>Actually my mom probably doesn't totally "get it" as she can't understand that type of lifestyle. But what she does "get" is that I'm my own person unique from her.......and for a control freak who sees her kids as extensions of herself......that is HUGE. It helped that she saw I am soooooooooooooooo much closer to my children than she ever remotely came to being with us, even now. It's hard to get really close to others when you're running at full tilt 7 days a week, you just don't have time to enjoy much of anything.</p><p></p><p>Which is actually the message I'm trying to get across to easy child. I'm so proud of what she's accomplished.....but she forgets it's worth squat if you don't stop and take the time to ENJOY what you've accomplished. Kids grow up FAST, and suddenly they're not kids anymore. Economies change, life throws your curve balls and suddenly despite all the work you put in.......it can all be gone in a flash and you're kicking yourself for not enjoying it when you had it. I want her to find a good balance instead of burning the candle at both ends to try to cram a lifetime worth of stuff into like a decade or so.</p><p></p><p>That I think is one of the biggest mistakes my mom made. She got so caught up in chasing her "visions" of what life was supposed to be.....social groups, dating, MONEY, superficial junk......that now in her 70's she wonders why her kids aren't close to her.....she's once again poor (marrying for money rarely works in real life)........alone......and unable to do much socializing......and after 6 failed marriages she won't even befriend a male. lol (ok so not funny) Even her grandkids aren't close to her because she was so wrapped up in HER life she was just barely involved in anyone elses. I'm sad for her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 443163, member: 84"] That was excellent Star. I had to have that conversation with my mother several times over the years for her to eventually get it. Then I had to have it [B]again[/B] with her over my girls. Actually my mom probably doesn't totally "get it" as she can't understand that type of lifestyle. But what she does "get" is that I'm my own person unique from her.......and for a control freak who sees her kids as extensions of herself......that is HUGE. It helped that she saw I am soooooooooooooooo much closer to my children than she ever remotely came to being with us, even now. It's hard to get really close to others when you're running at full tilt 7 days a week, you just don't have time to enjoy much of anything. Which is actually the message I'm trying to get across to easy child. I'm so proud of what she's accomplished.....but she forgets it's worth squat if you don't stop and take the time to ENJOY what you've accomplished. Kids grow up FAST, and suddenly they're not kids anymore. Economies change, life throws your curve balls and suddenly despite all the work you put in.......it can all be gone in a flash and you're kicking yourself for not enjoying it when you had it. I want her to find a good balance instead of burning the candle at both ends to try to cram a lifetime worth of stuff into like a decade or so. That I think is one of the biggest mistakes my mom made. She got so caught up in chasing her "visions" of what life was supposed to be.....social groups, dating, MONEY, superficial junk......that now in her 70's she wonders why her kids aren't close to her.....she's once again poor (marrying for money rarely works in real life)........alone......and unable to do much socializing......and after 6 failed marriages she won't even befriend a male. lol (ok so not funny) Even her grandkids aren't close to her because she was so wrapped up in HER life she was just barely involved in anyone elses. I'm sad for her. [/QUOTE]
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