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Never say never...please don't make crass
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 24664" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Dreamer, I feel as though you are picking a fight with me over semantics. I see your point, but wonder why you feel others aren't entitled to their own points of view. No one here is judging anyone. I would be shocked to find anyone here being anything other than accepting of our decisions and our foibles. </p><p></p><p>What I know for myself from having a long full life is that "never" is a - I don't know what to call it without offending the easily offended and I certainly don't mean to offend anyone. Never is a dream. It's a fantasy. It's a lie. It's a hope. It's a wish. Maybe even we live our whole life and "it" never happens. But usually not because we said "I'll never...". More often it's because it just turned out that way. Or maybe we prepared ourselves well enough that we didn't have to face that dilemma. But saying "never" doesn't make it so.</p><p></p><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so I should decide each time, case by case, do I wanna touch this hot stove, do I wanna touch this hot BBQ grill, do I wanna touch this hot muffler? </div></div></p><p></p><p>Yes, in fact each time you decide to not touch the hot stove, you do DECIDE. As for your examples, try this. </p><p></p><p>The kitchen is on fire and the only way to stop it is to touch the hot stove. But you said you would NEVER touch the hot stove. Are you really going to let the house burn down? </p><p></p><p>The baby is in the stroller and got loose and rolled into the hot muffler and is stuck. The only way to help is to touch the muffler. You said you would NEVER touch the hot muffler. Do you let the baby burn? </p><p></p><p>The BBQ grill tipped over and is burning down on your daughter and the handles fell off. You said you would NEVER touch the hot BBQ. Do you pick it up off of her? </p><p></p><p>Absolutes usually have exceptions, so why use absolutes? It's easier to let yourself be open to exceptions to the rule when you don't live your life in absolutes.</p><p></p><p>I prefer to say "I do whatever it takes so that <em>that</em> won't happen again" the next time the 'ugly' option comes around rather than saying "I will never do that again" and have no argument for someone other than "It didn't work last time so I won't ever do it again" the next time some fool is throwing that option in my face, or worse yet, it seems to be the only option left. At least if I have no other choice but to do it as much as I don't want to, no one can look at me and say "I could have told you, but you wouldn't listen."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 24664, member: 99"] Dreamer, I feel as though you are picking a fight with me over semantics. I see your point, but wonder why you feel others aren't entitled to their own points of view. No one here is judging anyone. I would be shocked to find anyone here being anything other than accepting of our decisions and our foibles. What I know for myself from having a long full life is that "never" is a - I don't know what to call it without offending the easily offended and I certainly don't mean to offend anyone. Never is a dream. It's a fantasy. It's a lie. It's a hope. It's a wish. Maybe even we live our whole life and "it" never happens. But usually not because we said "I'll never...". More often it's because it just turned out that way. Or maybe we prepared ourselves well enough that we didn't have to face that dilemma. But saying "never" doesn't make it so. <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so I should decide each time, case by case, do I wanna touch this hot stove, do I wanna touch this hot BBQ grill, do I wanna touch this hot muffler? </div></div> Yes, in fact each time you decide to not touch the hot stove, you do DECIDE. As for your examples, try this. The kitchen is on fire and the only way to stop it is to touch the hot stove. But you said you would NEVER touch the hot stove. Are you really going to let the house burn down? The baby is in the stroller and got loose and rolled into the hot muffler and is stuck. The only way to help is to touch the muffler. You said you would NEVER touch the hot muffler. Do you let the baby burn? The BBQ grill tipped over and is burning down on your daughter and the handles fell off. You said you would NEVER touch the hot BBQ. Do you pick it up off of her? Absolutes usually have exceptions, so why use absolutes? It's easier to let yourself be open to exceptions to the rule when you don't live your life in absolutes. I prefer to say "I do whatever it takes so that [i]that[/i] won't happen again" the next time the 'ugly' option comes around rather than saying "I will never do that again" and have no argument for someone other than "It didn't work last time so I won't ever do it again" the next time some fool is throwing that option in my face, or worse yet, it seems to be the only option left. At least if I have no other choice but to do it as much as I don't want to, no one can look at me and say "I could have told you, but you wouldn't listen." [/QUOTE]
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Never say never...please don't make crass
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