Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New and feeling alone
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Aurora" data-source="post: 519693" data-attributes="member: 14263"><p>I know that behavior is extremely variable in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). I am very active on forums there and many speak about it and often. It is well known in the field, yet I am balking at going for another evaluation for my daughter because we already have the diagnosis, and support because of it. I fear her going in on one of her "great" days and them saying (like the school that cannot handle her did the first time she went in) "oh look how perfect she is! What is wrong with you that you want this totally wonderful child diagnosis?!? Now she has a SEIT or push in therapists most of the time she is in school. When I was teaching I could see most of the students swinging from absolutely lovely to out of control. I agree that it can be things that seem minor to us or that we overlook. Once I had to leave MY class in the middle of the day to go to my son's classroom in another school on the other side of the city because his idiot teacher threw his string away and no one could control him. I simply reached down and took the string out of the waste basket and handed it to him and he was miraculously transformed. I then <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />ed them out for making me drive across town to do it!</p><p></p><p>Long honeymoons are heartbreaking because they always end and no matter how much we know they haven't been "cured" or misdiagnosed, deep down inside we are hoping they have. </p><p></p><p>Regarding obsessions -Many or most people that have an opinion on the matter consider both Bill Gates and Albert Einstein (and often Isaac Newton also)to be "Aspies". Look at how their over focus and obsessions changed the world! I was lucky that the little information I got when my son was diagnosis (about a month after DSM IV came out, when DS was in fourth grade) was the statement that if they found their niche their chances of being highly successful was greater than that of their NT peers, but that one can never make them in the image we want them to be. A few years later I took a parenting course, and one thing that really stood out to me was the the idea "listen first, talk later". In other words, don't initially try to get them interested in what you are, or say. First learn their world. </p><p></p><p>Because if these idea I always tried to get interested in DS's obsessions. I stood in line for hours when the Star Wars prequels were released. I played "Stupid Mario Brothers" (don't tell him I called them that!) I slogged through creeks looking for fossils. I watched anime' and read whatever he was reading so I could discuss it with him. His interest in video games led him to be interested in all forms of anime. which led to an interest in all things Japanese (especially girls!). A Japanese girlfriend invited him home with her <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sushi.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sushi:" title="sushi :sushi:" data-shortname=":sushi:" />so he traveled there and stayed the summer. He stayed the next summer too. He broke up with her but met a Chinese girl there who also had an interest in travel and languages. He changed his major from computer art (animation) to linguistics. He got his MS in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL), lived in Singapore and learned to play Chinese instruments (he had played guitar very well and was in bands here in the states in HS) played in a classical Chinese Orchastra, taught two years in Taiwan,<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/teacher.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":teacher:" title="teacher :teacher:" data-shortname=":teacher:" /> traveled extensively, studied Asian Religions, mountain climbed, surfed, performed in seven countries. He returned home when he broke up with his girlfriend after five years (at least a year of being heartbroken and blind sided <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/brokemyheart.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":brokemyheart:" title="broke my heart :brokemyheart:" data-shortname=":brokemyheart:" />) He is now teaching in the states (an hour from here), ESL, inner city, with refugee families and children (he actually has full time public school position and two PNP agency positions). He says himself that it was my support of growth through his series of obsessions that led him where he is today. I don't think that he could have overcome the Huge obstacles <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/warrior.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":warrior:" title="warrior :warrior:" data-shortname=":warrior:" /> he did if he wasn't so incredibly driven and strong willed. (or obsessed!) </p><p></p><p>Obsessions aren't all positive. But many times you can use them to make positives - finding others with similar interests to make friends, relating to your child yourself, expanding them into more socially acceptable versions of the same obsession, etc. Make lemonade!</p><p></p><p>Your mileage may vary.</p><p>Aurora</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Aurora, post: 519693, member: 14263"] I know that behavior is extremely variable in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). I am very active on forums there and many speak about it and often. It is well known in the field, yet I am balking at going for another evaluation for my daughter because we already have the diagnosis, and support because of it. I fear her going in on one of her "great" days and them saying (like the school that cannot handle her did the first time she went in) "oh look how perfect she is! What is wrong with you that you want this totally wonderful child diagnosis?!? Now she has a SEIT or push in therapists most of the time she is in school. When I was teaching I could see most of the students swinging from absolutely lovely to out of control. I agree that it can be things that seem minor to us or that we overlook. Once I had to leave MY class in the middle of the day to go to my son's classroom in another school on the other side of the city because his idiot teacher threw his string away and no one could control him. I simply reached down and took the string out of the waste basket and handed it to him and he was miraculously transformed. I then :censored2:ed them out for making me drive across town to do it! Long honeymoons are heartbreaking because they always end and no matter how much we know they haven't been "cured" or misdiagnosed, deep down inside we are hoping they have. Regarding obsessions -Many or most people that have an opinion on the matter consider both Bill Gates and Albert Einstein (and often Isaac Newton also)to be "Aspies". Look at how their over focus and obsessions changed the world! I was lucky that the little information I got when my son was diagnosis (about a month after DSM IV came out, when DS was in fourth grade) was the statement that if they found their niche their chances of being highly successful was greater than that of their NT peers, but that one can never make them in the image we want them to be. A few years later I took a parenting course, and one thing that really stood out to me was the the idea "listen first, talk later". In other words, don't initially try to get them interested in what you are, or say. First learn their world. Because if these idea I always tried to get interested in DS's obsessions. I stood in line for hours when the Star Wars prequels were released. I played "Stupid Mario Brothers" (don't tell him I called them that!) I slogged through creeks looking for fossils. I watched anime' and read whatever he was reading so I could discuss it with him. His interest in video games led him to be interested in all forms of anime. which led to an interest in all things Japanese (especially girls!). A Japanese girlfriend invited him home with her :sushi:so he traveled there and stayed the summer. He stayed the next summer too. He broke up with her but met a Chinese girl there who also had an interest in travel and languages. He changed his major from computer art (animation) to linguistics. He got his MS in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL), lived in Singapore and learned to play Chinese instruments (he had played guitar very well and was in bands here in the states in HS) played in a classical Chinese Orchastra, taught two years in Taiwan,:teacher: traveled extensively, studied Asian Religions, mountain climbed, surfed, performed in seven countries. He returned home when he broke up with his girlfriend after five years (at least a year of being heartbroken and blind sided :brokemyheart:) He is now teaching in the states (an hour from here), ESL, inner city, with refugee families and children (he actually has full time public school position and two PNP agency positions). He says himself that it was my support of growth through his series of obsessions that led him where he is today. I don't think that he could have overcome the Huge obstacles :warrior: he did if he wasn't so incredibly driven and strong willed. (or obsessed!) Obsessions aren't all positive. But many times you can use them to make positives - finding others with similar interests to make friends, relating to your child yourself, expanding them into more socially acceptable versions of the same obsession, etc. Make lemonade! Your mileage may vary. Aurora [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New and feeling alone
Top