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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 425356" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's difficult when they think they are adult. All I can suggest is to keep doing what you are doing, and be patient. Once a child leaves home, there is no return. Even if one day she comes back to sleep under your roof, it will be on adult terms, never again will she be your child under your roof. You need to change how you deal with her and communicate with her, to reflect this. She will continue to make some bad choices, but at 18 legally they are HER choices. Not yours. All you can do at this stage is love them and be there to help pick up the pieces. </p><p></p><p>One important piece of advice - ignore the people who tell you that she is now an adult and you have to let her fail. To a certain extent, yes. But if she asks for support, be there for her. Do not dump her in it or let her sink simply because she was the one who walked away. </p><p></p><p>I no longer tell my adult kids what to do, but I AM free with my advice, if I think it will be listened to. Otherwise I just listen.</p><p></p><p>Check our the Parent Emeritus forum, see if it can help.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 425356, member: 1991"] It's difficult when they think they are adult. All I can suggest is to keep doing what you are doing, and be patient. Once a child leaves home, there is no return. Even if one day she comes back to sleep under your roof, it will be on adult terms, never again will she be your child under your roof. You need to change how you deal with her and communicate with her, to reflect this. She will continue to make some bad choices, but at 18 legally they are HER choices. Not yours. All you can do at this stage is love them and be there to help pick up the pieces. One important piece of advice - ignore the people who tell you that she is now an adult and you have to let her fail. To a certain extent, yes. But if she asks for support, be there for her. Do not dump her in it or let her sink simply because she was the one who walked away. I no longer tell my adult kids what to do, but I AM free with my advice, if I think it will be listened to. Otherwise I just listen. Check our the Parent Emeritus forum, see if it can help. Marg [/QUOTE]
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