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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 57282" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>Welcome! I agree with the need to have an evaluation with a neuropsychologist. You might also want to have an evaluation with a child psychiatrist since you appear to be dealing with mood issues.</p><p></p><p>I think you should consider the fact that at his age your difficult child is unlikely to have the cognitive skills to be as manipulative as the neurologist says he is. Manipulation takes forethought, planning, organization and impulse control. It is much more likely that with his symptoms, your difficult child is reacting from anxiety, frustration intolerance and lack of impulse control. You should take a good hard look at Ross Greene's The Explosive Child and Treating Explosive Kids. </p><p></p><p>Cognitive skills have nothing to do with being bright or not. Cognitive skills include executive function skills, language-processing skills, emotional regulation skills, cognitive flexibility skills and social skills. No matter how bright the child is, young children -- even those without disorders -- have deficits in these areas. Those with disorders have even more difficulty with these skills and frequently end up melting down as their maladaptive way of coping.</p><p></p><p>I personally would leave any professional who calls a child manipulative. I think that shows a very basic lack of understanding the deep issues that contribute to why a child behaves the way he does. My own son has been called manipulative by several professionals, and they are no longer part of our team. J's psychiatrist has told us on more than one occasion that it's futile to figure out whether he's manipulating or not. It's far more important to understand why he's behaving the way he is (look at those cognitive skill deficits), empathize with the situation and then work WITH him to find a solution that is acceptable to both him and us. It's time-consuming and challenging, but well worth it in the end because we are making progress with him.</p><p></p><p>Again, welcome and good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 57282, member: 2423"] Welcome! I agree with the need to have an evaluation with a neuropsychologist. You might also want to have an evaluation with a child psychiatrist since you appear to be dealing with mood issues. I think you should consider the fact that at his age your difficult child is unlikely to have the cognitive skills to be as manipulative as the neurologist says he is. Manipulation takes forethought, planning, organization and impulse control. It is much more likely that with his symptoms, your difficult child is reacting from anxiety, frustration intolerance and lack of impulse control. You should take a good hard look at Ross Greene's The Explosive Child and Treating Explosive Kids. Cognitive skills have nothing to do with being bright or not. Cognitive skills include executive function skills, language-processing skills, emotional regulation skills, cognitive flexibility skills and social skills. No matter how bright the child is, young children -- even those without disorders -- have deficits in these areas. Those with disorders have even more difficulty with these skills and frequently end up melting down as their maladaptive way of coping. I personally would leave any professional who calls a child manipulative. I think that shows a very basic lack of understanding the deep issues that contribute to why a child behaves the way he does. My own son has been called manipulative by several professionals, and they are no longer part of our team. J's psychiatrist has told us on more than one occasion that it's futile to figure out whether he's manipulating or not. It's far more important to understand why he's behaving the way he is (look at those cognitive skill deficits), empathize with the situation and then work WITH him to find a solution that is acceptable to both him and us. It's time-consuming and challenging, but well worth it in the end because we are making progress with him. Again, welcome and good luck. [/QUOTE]
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