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New and need some advice! (long!)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 162119" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>This sounds like it could be a lot more than 'inconsistent parenting'. WHen you get parents who each have different styles, what often happens is the kid behaves one way for one parent, and another way for the other parent. The same thing happens with a kid who regularly gets minded by Grandma. The kid might jump all over the furniture at home and not get chided, but knows to stay off the furniture at Grandma's.</p><p></p><p>What is happening here is wild behaviour regardless.</p><p></p><p>ODD on it's own - I doubt it. Something else - well, we can't diagnose here but my money would be on ADHD at least needing to be considered.</p><p></p><p>As for medications - there are other things you can try/should try, at least to begin with. I saw a news story on Aussie TV a day or two ago, on a computer software package being researched (I think it was Sydney University) which hooked ADHD & dyslexic kids up to a biofeedback sensor (like those 'pegs' they put on your finger in hospital to measure your oxygen levels, only they had one on each finger) and the kids had to use biofeedback (relaxing) to move the cursor around. The program was gentle and relaxing, it looked similar to "Myst" to me. The kids loved it and the kid they interviewed reckoned it helped him. Looking at him though, easy child 2/difficult child 2 & I both felt he was still very ADHD. The thing is, the kid was functioning better, and without medications.</p><p></p><p>It's still experimental, though. But keep an eye open.</p><p></p><p>With difficult child 3, he was started on stims when he was 3. This horrified a lot of people but the result was pure magic. Not only did it make a huge impact on his ADHD, but it also helped aspects of his autism - the ADHD was interfering with his ability to use his intellect to begin to learn and adapt in his own way to his autism. The medications' most obvious immediate benefit was the improvement in difficult child 3's language. He went from single words to full sentences, in under a week.</p><p></p><p>With anything, be it medications or discipline, if it doesn't work you dump it. If it does work, you use it.</p><p></p><p>If your discipline methods aren't working, dump them. Some things aren't worth the battle. If Sunday School isn't working, pull him out, at least for now. If anyone tells you you're a bad parent for not sending him to Sunday School, point out that sending him and having a bad experience would make his views on the whole religion thing worse, not better.</p><p></p><p>Read up on "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. At the top of tis forum there is some good discussion on this book. It should help a lot. Get husband to read it too. If he hangs around with us, he will find it helps him - helps you, too. Besides, not only can we help - we also have a lot of fun! And there are other blokes here too, including my husband.</p><p></p><p>Welcome!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 162119, member: 1991"] This sounds like it could be a lot more than 'inconsistent parenting'. WHen you get parents who each have different styles, what often happens is the kid behaves one way for one parent, and another way for the other parent. The same thing happens with a kid who regularly gets minded by Grandma. The kid might jump all over the furniture at home and not get chided, but knows to stay off the furniture at Grandma's. What is happening here is wild behaviour regardless. ODD on it's own - I doubt it. Something else - well, we can't diagnose here but my money would be on ADHD at least needing to be considered. As for medications - there are other things you can try/should try, at least to begin with. I saw a news story on Aussie TV a day or two ago, on a computer software package being researched (I think it was Sydney University) which hooked ADHD & dyslexic kids up to a biofeedback sensor (like those 'pegs' they put on your finger in hospital to measure your oxygen levels, only they had one on each finger) and the kids had to use biofeedback (relaxing) to move the cursor around. The program was gentle and relaxing, it looked similar to "Myst" to me. The kids loved it and the kid they interviewed reckoned it helped him. Looking at him though, easy child 2/difficult child 2 & I both felt he was still very ADHD. The thing is, the kid was functioning better, and without medications. It's still experimental, though. But keep an eye open. With difficult child 3, he was started on stims when he was 3. This horrified a lot of people but the result was pure magic. Not only did it make a huge impact on his ADHD, but it also helped aspects of his autism - the ADHD was interfering with his ability to use his intellect to begin to learn and adapt in his own way to his autism. The medications' most obvious immediate benefit was the improvement in difficult child 3's language. He went from single words to full sentences, in under a week. With anything, be it medications or discipline, if it doesn't work you dump it. If it does work, you use it. If your discipline methods aren't working, dump them. Some things aren't worth the battle. If Sunday School isn't working, pull him out, at least for now. If anyone tells you you're a bad parent for not sending him to Sunday School, point out that sending him and having a bad experience would make his views on the whole religion thing worse, not better. Read up on "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. At the top of tis forum there is some good discussion on this book. It should help a lot. Get husband to read it too. If he hangs around with us, he will find it helps him - helps you, too. Besides, not only can we help - we also have a lot of fun! And there are other blokes here too, including my husband. Welcome! Marg [/QUOTE]
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